Tag: Depression

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Representation, Recognition, and Essence

Essence is from the non-local qualitative space,
Something similar to the 5th dimension ‘Plato’s world of forms’.
From where we are, we connect to these essences and experience them.
We connect to these essences through representations.
All sensory and mental objects are not the thing in itself,
But are all representations of the thing.
The thing itself exists in a transcendent form we connect/access and experience.

When we lose connection to this higher world of essences,
Which all of our representations basically cue to,
We get depressed.
So depression I feel is fundamentally from this disconnection.
Even if you logically lay it out in language,
Like:
“I have xxx bank balance,
I have all these xxx items with me,
These great xxx relationships,
etc.”
If you cannot connect to the higher world of essences,
You would feel depressed.

On the other hand, if you do connect to this higher world of essences,
You would experience great joy/riches/bliss.

This connection is entirely invisible and cannot be directly seen,
But rather it can only be felt and experienced.
Only representations can be studied and seen.
And all of the objects in the sensory and mental worlds are representations.
They all cue/point to these higher world essences.

This connection is quite a bit independent from the circumstances of life,
Apart from fulfillment of all the usual basic needs.
That is why it is difficult to see any direct correlation,
Between a person’s circumstances and his/her level of happiness.

This may explain how some of the pioneers of the LSD experience,
Described their experience in terms like: ‘seeing the whole world in a grain of sand’ etc.
Logically you might think, ‘pff, that makes no sense, how can a sand grain be the world?!, nonsense etc.’
But on deeper inspection, I see that the grain of sand is only a representation,
And it is cue-ing/pointing to the higher object which is the “5th dimensional numinous essence of the world itself”.

There are many games right, where a portion of an animal is shown to you,
And you’d have to guess the animal.
The picture that is shown, (say of the animal’s eye alone) is not the animal right?
The animal that you guess it represents (say correctly) is because you mapped that picture to your mental object.
So the animal really exists only in your mental space as a representation.
And even the picture shown to you is also a fractional representation of it.
But however neither of these 2 things can give us the real connection we desire.
Because both are only representations at some level.
The true connection is to connect everything to god (in religious terms),
Or in philosophical terms I could say, it is to connect the representational forms to their essences.

It could be speculated that this ‘world of essences’ really exists, like Plato speculated.
But the real nature of it, I feel, is entirely mysterious.
All we know is when we connect to it through our representation,
We experience all the sought after feelings of wonder/comprehension/profound understanding/knowing and so on.
It is this recognition I long for,
I wish I could connect through everything to their higher essences.
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My Venus is exalted

I have already attained the highest state of venusian love.
My venus is exalted.
That is why the deep pleasure of love songs,
Which stoke those vibrations already inside me.
I’ve already had the highest enjoyment of those vibrational experiences.
I recognize them, I have been in love before.
I have the memories of all those wonders deep inside.
Love/Bliss is a state of being very familiar/intimate to me.
And the songs rekindle those vibrations already in me.
They are all songs that express and celebrate those states of being, those vibrational worlds (heavens?).
The joy of celebration including arts, creativity, beauty, love, joy, ecstasy, fulfillment, satisfaction, and satiation.
Songs “transport” my being to those lost hidden vibrational worlds into REVERIES,
In the enchanted caves of my heart.

The depression and agony I experience at times are super severe,
Because they contrast with these deep enjoyments which I know for certain are possible.
Loss feels severe, only when you have once tasted gain.
The darkness of night is felt, only when you have tasted the light of day.
Leading to the mystic’s divide between: Longing —–and—— Ecstasy.
There is a constant alternation between these 2.
My life process moves along this pendulum swing.
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Inspiration and Energy

Inspiration + Energy = Euphoria
Inspiration – Energy = Regular Tiredness
Energy – Inspiration = Boredom
(- Energy) – Inspiration = Depression
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Depression and Anxiety are 2 sides of the same coin

My depression is of “the pain” of the past.
My anxiety is of “the expected pain” of the future.
They are both like 2 sides of the same coin.

Memory and Imagination work with each other, and go together
Depression is from memory.
Anxiety is from imagination.

Anxiety is from fear.
Depression is from pain.
Pain comes from memory.
Fear comes from imagination.

1. Anxiety is the fear of the possibility of “inevitable pain that will come from the past conditioning the future (that belief is the depression)”.
Anxiety is the fear that “the past is doomed to repeat (that belief is the depression)”.
2. Anxiety is the fear that “the future too will get poisoned by the past (that belief is the depression)”.
3. Anxiety is the fear that “the desires will never get fulfilled (that belief is the depression)”.
Anxiety is the reactivity to depression.
You see how intertwined and connected both of these are!

Now I mentioned 3 primary beliefs creating the weight of depression:
1. The past is doomed to repeat.
2. The future too will get poisoned by the past.
3. My desires will never get fulfilled.
Now, no experience can happen without there being some degree of truth to it.
The 3 points mentioned above are not just beliefs.
They also have some truth in it.
If there were no truth in the above 3 points, depression cannot exist at all.
They are not the whole truth but a good part of the truth.
In the sense:
1. Pain does exist.
2. Conditioning does perpetuate. There is definitely a drag.
3. Unrealistic desires do never actualize.

The truth is both: Pain and Possibility.
So depression happens when only one side of the truth is seen.
When one is submerged in the pain dimension.
It is a dissociation from possibility.
Similarly, overly unrealistically magical positive people may see only one side of the truth.
They dissociate from pain, and see possibilities that are all ungrounded.

Overly positive people (unrealistic positivity) live like ungrounded dissociated ghosts = live in strong rajas
Overly depressed people are inert like rocks = like in strong tamas
When rajas runs out, it falls into tamas.

There are so many interconnections.
Often a depressed person has at one time been overly positive magical and ambitious.
Since he has dissociated from the pain dimension, the pain part keeps building up, and finally breaks the threshold and forces its way into his awareness as pain.
Now the strength of his depression depends on how separated he was from his pain, and how far high up in the sky he flew.
Greater the height of flight, greater is the fall, and more painful is the fall, i.e. when gravity catches up and hurls him to the ground.
This impact may shatter the bird, and damage the power of possibility for that person.
This personal power then gets critically injured.

This extreme positivity, flight of fancy, wild imagination AND pain/depression are highly connected.
Greater the ignoring of the ground and gravity, harder is the fall.
Often the very depressed person, when given a drug that dissociates from pain (any pain killer aka. endorphin, opiate action), will cause him to fly away as high as he possibly can.
It is reactive.
But then the drug wears off, and once again there is a hard fall to the ground and its gravity pulling you back.
This then causes the cycle of addiction, and the cycle of pendulum like oscillation between the extremes.
Each extreme potentiates the other.
When crippled on the ground, the desire to fly is so intense.
When in the highest of flights, the fear of the ground is so great.

So there is a internal war,
A split in the psyche.
Between what is called “hard/sober reality” vs. “wild/flight/imagination”.
Until the person reconciles these 2 dualities,
The depression-elation alternation keeps playing out intensely.

Another paradox of depression is that,
Depressed people are often hyper ambitious with crazy and extreme ideals.
Depression is ultimately relative.
Only if you have a very strong desire for reality to be other than what it is, can you even be depressed at all.
Depression is from identification with the part of the psyche that wants to flee from itself.
This is often due to shame of being oneself (programmed in early childhood).
So it feels encumbered, burdened, and constantly weighed down and restricted by the part that is manifest.

Another clarification is needed.
When I speak about pain and possibility, pain is related to non-acceptance.
When fully accepted and owned, pain ceases to be pain.
Pain is pain only because of resistance.
So when pain is accepted, that is the end of pain.
Because the person hates themselves, their self causes pain.
If they completely own and accept themselves, there would be no pain.
So this again shows how interconnected and relative these terms are.

In the duality between: samsara —-and—– nirvana (note the smaller case alphabet),
Depression is from an attachment to the nirvanic side of life.
So the craving for nirvana, makes samsara depressing.
But real “NIRVANA” transcends both.
As long as you are attached to any one polarity, the other pole will keep restraining you, creating a constant tug of war in the psyche.
And it is also ignorance of the truth that the 2 poles go together, and one cannot be had without the other.
If you try to attach to samsara, an uneasy longing to break free will distress you.
If you try to attach to nirvana, then the pain of ‘samsara/cyclic existence’ will keep dragging you down.
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Depression seen from a deeper place

fathermothershadow

When we are young, the conditions of love are told to us.
Even if they are not explicitly told, we can easily intuit it.
We look at the environment around us with the question:
“What must I be? What must I do? What must I become?” to get the love I desire?

Love is first for survival, because if nobody loves you, you will not survive.
Even if you were unwanted and parents took care of you just as a duty, that is still because they love to be morally right/socially right etc.
So love is required to survive when you are dependent esp.

After the survival stage is passed, love is still needed for enrichment, growth, expansion, flourishing, prosperity, real wealth, and so on.

So coming back to the topic, depression is from the loss of hope, that you can ever be/become/do something that will get you love.
Thereafter the person just lives hand to mouth existentially.
Some force in him keeps living mechanically like clockwork in cycles, but he loses all hope and falls into grief.
All his mental energies fall like a dead weight on him, like a cross which he carries and walks in despair, in the endless desert.
He becomes totally apathetic, and wishes for deep sleep to carry him away to non-existence permanently.
His daily life with this cross on his back then resembles the ‘Sisyphus myth’ i.e. rolling a rock up the hill only to watch it roll down again and repeat.

What I have described is only the surface. Let’s dive further in.
From the archetypal perspective, the world is your projection.
Everything including love shines forth from you, from the source.
If you give all of your projections away to impossible ideals, depression is inevitable.
How does this happen?
It could be a combination of your own innate tendency to do that (hyper-ambition) coupled with being born in a family (which you might have attracted from a tendency match).
So in such a case, usually the family i.e. parents, siblings etc. feel they are profoundly unworthy and undeserving, and each of them have an impossible ideal which receives their light.
As a result of that, they are always in the dark shadow of undeservingness, poverty, desperation, grief, unworthiness, and deep-ambivalence of hope.
So now when you are born, you osmotically pick up the ideals from them which may go unconscious in you by the time you grow up.
But it is those ideals that are getting your light, which are unconscious to you.
In your conscious experience, you may only see meaninglessness, darkness, apathy, disinterest, futility, despair, dim view about the future etc.
But the far away faint ideal receives all of your light.
It is like how when we have a full solar eclipse, that shadow blocks off a large portion of the earth.
In this case, the ideal that you have given away your love to, casts a huge shadow on you, turning you into its prisoner in deprivation.
This is the abstract description of the situation of depression.

I’ll give an example.
Say you look at magazine images of male and female models, and compare yourself to them.
If you project all of your love on them, and believe only they deserve love, and if you are far from that image, then to that extent you will fall in the shadow of hate.
You see them 100 times more clearly than you see yourself because they have received all of your light, like the other side of the moon in the eclipse.
Loving others more than loving yourself, or co-dependence is likely, because the other has been projected as lovely, which means in relativity to that, you will definitely fall in the shadow of hate.
Hate is darkness, which means literally, you will be mostly unconscious to yourself.
Now many different actions are possible from this condition:
* You can try to become like them, give all of your energies to that, depending on the level of shame you feel and the level of idealization you have projected on them. This will not give you depression, but will make you pursue the ideal like your life depends on it.
* If you realize it is impossible for you to be like them, then you lose hope of ever becoming something worthy of love, and fall into hopelessness, despair, unworthiness, and the smoke of grief we call depression.
For some people these ideals are more literal = like money, body, possessions, achievement etc.
But often, these ideals are more obscure, elusive, and contradict each other.
The contradiction is what makes the depression impossible to overcome on its terms.
Like what if the one who is loved has to be:
“Extraordinary enough to be admired, adored, worshipped.
But ordinary enough to be loved, included, and belong.”
So the 2 conditions above are contradictory almost.
So you could have tons of such impossible ideals.
Then they will definitely paralyze you, take away all of your light, and leave you with nothing, in the shadow.
I see this as one of the chief deeper causes of depression.
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Spirit world and Material world

three-states-of-matter-ice-water-steam

There are differing ratios of Spirit-Matter in different planes of existence.
[Look up “Sant Mat – inner planes of existence” if interested in a model]
What we call earth depends on which plane you are on, i.e. which plane you are aligned and tuned to.
You are not in earth, rather you and the earth are appearances within and as a certain energetic frequency ‘YOU'[your higher self/soul/your deeper reality…you get the idea] are tuned into.
Are you looking at the “material earth” OR the “spiritual earth”? it depends on whether you are TUNED into the material plane or spirit plane.
I have created 2 simplistic categories so that I can explain the concept.
But basically what I am trying to convey is that, there are innumerable planes of experience/existence spanning from gross to subtle.
Gross[material] plane ——–innumerable in-between planes————– Subtle [Spirit] plane
And these planes have differing ratios of spirit to matter.
Spirit is lowest, matter is highest [dense material plane] —-vs—– Spirit is highest, matter is lowest [rarefied spiritual plane]

Spirit is energy/life/subtle/aliveness/electricity/non-physical/imperceptible.
Spirit infused into matter creates ‘VIBRATION’ which is then perceivable.
So then are you matter or spirit?
The relationship is a bit more complex.
Really, there is only ONE ENERGY, we can call in caps ‘SPIRIT’.
SPIRIT[spirit, matter]
The duality of spirit-matter comes out of this, which is what creates existence as a form OR material plane existence and so on.
Like how, we have [ice, water, steam].
All 3 of these are the same essence but vibrating at different rates.
Lower vibration = gross = matter ————– Higher vibration = subtle = steam.
But all of the forms of water are the same essence.
So coming back to spirit-matter, spirit-matter are like Yin-Yang dual pairs.
They mutually and interdependently give each other meaning.
‘matter’ is because ‘spirit’ is, and ‘spirit’ is because ‘matter’ is.
But both are made up of ‘SPIRIT’ Essence(note the caps).
Like how H2O molecule transcends all the various forms water can take, ‘SPIRIT’ OR ‘GOD’ OR ‘The ONE’ is that ‘primordial essence/singular principle’ that manifests in the infinite forms/varieties/experiences.

Now coming back to the spirit/material realms/planes/worlds concept.
I will use a monitor screen analogy to explain it further.
Your monitor refresh rate is right now 60hz (sometimes 75hz or even 120hz).
That means 60 times a second, a TOTAL refresh is possible.
That means I could have a strobe light flash through every pixel in the screen in 60 different colors one at a time within one sec.
This refresh rate is its ‘FREQUENCY’.
So this is a great analogy to explain, what high-frequency spirit planes are like.
Higher the frequency, higher the freedom.
Very young Children are in this state (much higher frequency), and even good quality LSD can create this HYPER-PRIMING state of high frequency which is felt as exhilarating, joy, and freedom.

Children come into being from the spirit world to the material world.
And this is not instant but a certain gradual process of shifting from the higher freq spirit world into the lower freq material world. A descent.
Think about it, when does the greatest amount of creation happen (fundamental creation that is)? In the womb?? (so the womb is sort of a transition plane from the higher freq to the lower freq when the basic form of incarnation happens).
Even in the initial years of life until the age of 6, one is in a HYPER-PRIMING stage (similar to LSD) where imprinting happens.
Thereafter we live life through that form and experience life through the more or less crystallized imprinted form patterns in the material plane.
Which is what makes us have a specific personality and traits.
If we were in the higher freq spirit realms, you can shape shift profoundly into anything and experience it and change into something else a mili-second later.
Now one very interesting point, generally we become more fearful of change after we grow because there is less freedom/less energy (low freq energy is more difficult to change). We are afraid of imprinting – why? because we will not have the energy to change it later.

Lower frequency realms are like solidified dreams.
Like whatever happens to us, has a DRAG time, and this DRAG time is SIGNIFICANTLY greater the lower our frequency is.
Depression is the frequency of spirit is very low – in other words, you feel powerless, helpless to CHANGE your state. It is not only very difficult to change your state, you once again get stuck in whatever new state you arrive at. The depression pain is mainly spiritual, the pain of losing freedom.
Depression is your being moving into the lower freq of hell realms.
The opposite is exhilaration tingly vibratory feelings which happen as spirit influxes into your form.

Ecstasy is your being moving into the higher freq of heavenly realms.
Heaven and Hell realms can be conceptualized in terms of:
Low freq material worlds = Hell —————– High freq spirit worlds = Heaven
(Heaven and hell are relative remember, they are not absolute places)
In the high freq heaven spirit worlds, you can MOVE through vast experiences as fast as your monitor can update say, 60 times a second.
Whereas in the low freq hell material worlds, it takes a lot of effort to update your state of being, and once you arrive there, again it will take a lot of effort to change it. So really there is no freedom at all in comparison.

Another aspect I wanted to talk about besides freq was amplitude and power.
You could be powerful in a low frequency realm = Science (the imagination caught in the imaginary)
You could be powerless in a high frequency realm = Religious visionary
This ties into the saying:
Science is blind, Religion is lame.
Frequency determines the radio station – realm you are tuned into.
Amplitude determines the volume – amplitude or power of the signal.
Like a person who is tuned to the material world (low freq) but with a lot of amplitude/power, will be an achiever, go-getter, powerful human in the human game.
Whereas a spiritual seeker, his being may be tuned to the high frequency but he cannot sustain any amplitude and feels totally powerless and helpless.

So I made 4 variations:

High frequency + High amplitude = Spiritual master (fast and total change) = LSD like aliveness “All is spirit” experience.
High frequency + Low amplitude = Spiritual seeker (fine awareness but slow change from lack of power) = Deep insights but inability to change much.
[Spiritual seeker ——and ———- Spiritual master] = Are both spirit world high-freq experiences.

Low frequency + High amplitude = Doer/Achiever in the world (low awareness but fast change) = Societal achiever and go-getter
Low frequency + Low amplitude = Depression (low awareness and slow change) = Dull slow leaden sub-human state.

I read somewhere in literature, that angels live in the high-freq visionary worlds but have low power.
Whereas humans live in the low-freq material world but have high power.
So what would you choose, if those were the 2 options?
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Our identification is a hiding, origins of dissociation/depersonalization/depression

When you BE some-[thing], you merge into it
You make that [thing] your substance
Now that [thing] is invisible to you
Because YOU ARE IT

Why do we think we are unlovable, unlikeable, unworthy, ugly, bad, evil?
Because we identify with BEING that.
That is why when parents treat the child badly or neglect/abuse it, the first thing the child identifies with is “I MUST BE BAD”.
Because the ego/social-identity is basically the ‘reflection of ourselves in the other at the formative age’.
And secondly, let’s say the child had a choice, to believe it is good and it is the parents who are evil. This is unbearable for the child and it is much easier to identify with being BAD/UNWORTHY/UNLOVABLE.
So that is why I think we identify with the VERY NEGATIVE ASPECT so that WE CAN GO BLIND TO IT (Total identification with something makes us blind to it and removes it from our consciousness).
Because to not identify with it would mean to actually be conscious and witness that harming relationship which is unbearably painful and horrific.
So this is a way of going unconscious/blind to the negative relationship to make things bearable.
Such a person may become an abuser himself (fully identified with the abuser) if he feels pride in that.
But now if we add the super-ego/conscience in that judges this as contemptuous act.
Now there is a double-bind created, leading straight to depression (depression is essentially a double bind causing the freeze response).
That is why, when a person begins to come out of depression, the first thing to arise is SEVERE RAGE/HATRED/ANGER/ABUSIVE TENDENCIES.
Because this is releasing one of the facets of the double bind, making it ok to feel angry, feel hate, be abusive, be vengeful (all the previously projected qualities), and so on.

Depression is the punishment of oneself for being reprehensible/bad.
So:
1st there is an identification with being bad.
2nd there is a super-ego that imposes that being bad is horrible.
3rd Now you hate yourself and punish yourself for being bad.
4th You attract relationships that do the same to you, and so you can get a break from abusing yourself and let the external abuser do the job for you.

Even in the case of childhood abuse, often the child identifies with the abuser itself
He may directly become an abuser to others if he feels that being the abuser is the right thing.
OR there is a more complicated case that can arise in case he sees the abuser as terrible. He may also identify with the abuser, but because he also thinks that is terrible, he would project it outside to the other.
So now such a child is “other” identified, because he is identified with the abuser but cannot be that because being the abuser is terrible, so he projects this behavior to the other and LIVES VICARIOUSLY through the other.
Since he lives VICARIOUSLY through the other, it is a DISSOCIATED identification, and from THAT DISSOCIATED ABUSER point of view he views his own former self as an OBJECT/OTHER.
So his own self has become an other, and now he lives through the lens of an abusive other outside of his body.
Generally the interesting conundrum I always had was that, if one is totally dissociated from one’s self, seeing the entire self as an object of one’s awareness, then what is the real identification with? What is the one looking at the self as an object?
I figured the one which is looking at the self as object IS the [Hyper critical rejecting parent/abuser/unsupportive/hating force itself etc.]
So basically such a person is identified with an out of body abuser pov and continuously subjects himself to the same treatment that the abusers gave him.
So this causes DEPRESSION/DEPERSONALIZATION.
So such a person when alone would abuse themselves[self as object] and derive pleasure from this, or attract an external abuser and live co-dependently through them.
That is why, when in an abusive relationship which he would inevitably attract, he would FOCUS all his attention on the abusive partner who is being himself (his abusive self with pride), and hate the partner, but still stay absorbed in hating him and never having the WILL to leave the relationship.
The reason he never leaves is because of resonance with the abusive partner, who is actually his own identification, but disowned because it is seen as terrible to be that.
So compared to the child that directly identifies pridefully with being an abuser, in the latter case, it is further removed and thus the person lives in a weak victim state (because he is so far away from his power, doubly removed).
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Depression is a protective system

printed-circuit-board

The psyche is like a dynamic living structure/circuit.
Its physical correlate might be the ‘nervous system’.
There is a variable amount of electricity/spirit that can be passed through the nervous system.
The self (ego/self structure) is the determiner of how much spirit (dynamic energy) should be received.
The brain is a reducing value rather than the creator of reality.
The brain is more of a focusing instrument.
The RAS(Reticular activating system) in the brain determines how much power/electricity/spirit must be passed through the nervous system – and this also correspondingly activates the psyche structure.
We could say the ego/self controls this RAS and uses this like a volume control to optimize output based on its goals.

The psyche structure has a circuit.
– If the wiring is very chaotic and silo like(i.e. there are multiple contradictions, conflicts, incompatible compartments, lot of split-selves(locus-es, clusters)), then there the self turns down the RAS to maintain circuit integrity and limit circuit connectivity.
– On the other hand, if the wiring is sound, well integrated, without any incompatible wiring, then the RAS can be comfortably turned up and the system can work more powerfully and efficiently without a short circuit and the parts can function coherently, harmoniously with minimum interference.

An important thing is remember is that, PAIN in essence is from conflict.
So depression is a protective mechanism against PURE PAIN.
Opiates are released in response to pain.
That is why depression and high opiate release are highly connected (which also explains why the depressed person feels a flat AFFECT and loss of memory access).

A depressed person has a lot of internal chaos and conflict.
[Conflicting values, conflicting drives, conflicting ideologies and so on]
This chaos and conflict creates pain.
Now, if greater energy is passed from the RAS through the conflicting circuits, then there could easily be a short circuit and something may blow up.
Whereas if the energy passed through the circuits is lowered, then only the critical circuits receive power, and large areas of potential conflict could be kept low-key and relatively dormant.
So depression kicks in, to make chaos manageable, to mitigate pain, and it is an attempt of the organizing system to handle one thing at a time starting from the most critical.

That is why sometimes LSD and Ayahuasca can cause violent reactions, because it would increase the circuit power and connectivity reach via. RAS, forcing disconnected, compartmentalized, and dormant parts to interact with each other, which could potentially cause a lot of conflict/chaos = pain.
But however if one wants to function as ONE integrated personality, then such a pain could be a good learning experience in terms of facing this chaos so that one could see through the transcendent principle behind it.
These transcendent principles thus seen can be used to integrate the disconnected parts.
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Happiness and Depression in general

happiness-depression

My real happiness automatically means the other person is accepted.
My depression automatically means the other person is not accepted.
This is a side effect, it is based on the overall context of that person’s life itself (much beyond the person’s will power or control available).
It is not something the person chooses as such (they do have a choice but it is not much, like it is only from the top of the iceberg portion.)

That is why universally beings gravitate to happy beings (and avoid depressed beings).
Depressed (low spirit contact) ——————————— Happy(high spirit contact)
That is because universally what is loved is ‘spirit’.
That is why children are naturally loved, because they are the closest to ‘spirit’.

So the idea of bringing up children, is for them to have minimum loss of spirit as they grow up.
It is to minimize the loss of their spirit as you introduce them to society, culture, human games, and creating an identity etc.

You want them to choose an identity from their own freedom and then help shape it better like a potter adding finesse using all of your experience and knowledge.
(One easy way to kill a child’s spirit is impose/enforce something seriously unreasonable on him (role-reversal etc.) or something totally different and out of his nature, and tell him – “Be THAT otherwise you are a shameful loser”)
Bringing up happy adults -> retention of a high amount of spirit in adulthood
Bringing up depressed adults -> loss of a lot of spirit in adulthood

In other words, if the ‘identity’ serves spirit you have a happy person, else a depressed person.

Of course depressed adults will program the children with the depression programming – consciously(top of iceberg) or unconsciously(under the iceberg).

So there are only 2 kinds of families really:
Happy families, Unhappy families – and infinite variation of these 2 themes.

Spirit I feel is not a specific kind of expression, way of being, behavior pattern, appearance etc. It can express itself in a multitude of ways.
I feel all spirit means is high electricity/high energy = high freedom
Spirit = freedom
So a person is happy when he has spirit, that is freedom.
A person is unhappy when he lacks spirit, that is being stuck.

‘Ken Wilber’ says the same:
Contact with Spirit = Happiness
Away from Spirit = Depression
That’s all there really is.

All 3 spectrums are equivalent:
Freedom ————————— Stuck
Happy——————————- Depressed
High spirit ————————- Low spirit
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Converting Depression into Flow

The thing about depression is that, it is only seen in relativity.
There is some benchmark of performance, ability, condition that you are comparing your current state against.

The 2 broad relativity elements:
– One element is relativity w.r.t other people and their state of mind you observe/intuit/vicariously feel/experience/empathize with.
– The other element is relativity with your own happy memories and memories of other freer states of mind with higher possibilities.

To avoid the 1st relativity, you can isolate yourself.
To avoid the 2nd relativity, you can try to absorb your mind in something.

If there is an “interest potential” present in the mind, and you can simply tap into that. Like something you really want to read about, a video you wanted to watch etc. In my experience, there is always something the mind is most interested in – at every moment.
We think of the mind as a noun, a thing.
But actually it is a verb, a flow, a movement.
Without movement of the mind, you would be in deep sleep.
So one method is to simply BE and FLOW as the whole mind, and let it go where-ever it wants to. You will notice in this approach, the mind will automatically after a while center itself on some core issues, road block in your life that is troubling you.

Generally, if a deep need of yours is not fulfilled, the mind will naturally get preoccupied with that. So one way to avoid resistance and struggle is to surrender to whatever interest appears. It can be anything. Many a times, this spontaneous interest might be quite out of line, with what you would like yourself to be/think/do/act etc. But those images are precisely the ones that need to be surrendered. That way, the mind can simply flow with whatever movement it naturally has.
It will naturally mobilize and center itself in the direction of your core issue/problem if you just allow it. It will eventually settle on your deepest longings.

The main suffering here is of NOT ACCEPTING the states of longing, desperation, looping thoughts, obsessions, fixations, chaos, slowness, heaviness, debilitation, fatigue, emptiness, guilt, regret, feeling sorry, pity, anger, rage, uneasiness, unpleasantness, physical pain, stuckness of forces, despair regarding where to move.
So if you just allow the whole mind to flow, it will take you down a deep rabbit hole and solve everything as it goes through that. Your life experience may change in unimaginable ways and you may comprehend mystical insights far above your current level.