Only the field exists, you do not

The whole unitive journey is about: becoming the field/surrendering/dissolving/merging into it totally.
Once united, what you are doing then, is what the field is doing.
And it does so automatically and effortlessly, of itself.

You are then simply in a state of absolute transparency, allowing, devotion, until you are not there at all, and only the field is.
RULE: “You are, when the field is not. When the field is, you are not”
So the field is not on your terms.
It is on its own terms.
The field is like the father who is driving.
The son/separate self is like the one with the toy steering that thinks he is driving.
The more ambitious the son, the more obviously he would realize that he was not in control and never was.

RULE: “Only the field exists, you do not exist.”
“You” are an illusion, stemming from ignorance.
There is a singular whole, and that is the only doer.
RULE: “The whole moves the whole, no part moves the whole, no part moves another part.”
RULE: “The same energy that makes the sun come up, the stars shine, the birds chirp, is the same energy that moves me and my experience.”
Relinquish all control and “let go/merge/unite/be/dissolve/align/drop/become one” with the field.
Only the field exists.

Control and Freedom are opposites

Control and Freedom are the opposites of each other.
The spectrum:
Control (holding on to control & having the need to control) ————- Freedom (letting go of control & not having the need to control)
To let something free is to relinquish control over it.
You let it return to its “natural” state, without your interference/intervention/action/effort.

Every controlled action cannot be sustained indefinitely.
Consequently, when it is dropped, the result swings to its opposite.
All opposites inevitably swing between each other:
# Extreme pursuit/seeking ——-vs——- Extreme retreat
# Extreme outgoingness ——vs——- Extreme withdrawal
# Extreme activity ——-vs——– Extreme tiredness
Like a spring:
# If you pull the ends of the spring, it contracts when you release it.
# If you shrink the ends of the spring, it expands when you release it.
Essentially:
# Extreme Rajas (activity) ——vs—— Extreme tamas (inertia)
Activity and Inertia follow each other.
The “middle or 0 point” of these poles is not a location or a quantity but a DOORWAY.
Now, I must speak more about what I mean by “middle or 0 point” here.
The “middle or 0 point” is not in the same “plane” or “number line” as the 2 poles are in.
0 or the middle is not a quantitative thing here, rather it is representative of the doorway/portal/wormhole to the next dimension itself.
Passing through this doorway = transcends both the poles and opens you up to the higher dimension.
A more 3d analogy of this would be a whirlpool.
The dualities spiral around each other and lead into the doorway/wormhole that acts as a portal to the next dimension.
This permeation/dissolving of you into the higher dimension by the relinquishing of control/effort (which happens naturally in time once you experience and acquire true understanding) is true freedom.

That is why controlling any one aspect of life will never lead to transcendence but rather it will only lead to a swing in the opposite direction when your will power runs out.
You can allow this process to happen fast by moving with the intensity of a hare and lose will power much faster, or you can walk like a tortoise and exhaust your will-power supply after an eon.
Once that happens, your state will swing to its opposite pole, and the attainment will be lost until the next cycle begins.
Just like how, if you work very hard one day, you will feel very sleepy that night and fall into oblivion for a while.

When control is relinquished, things return to their higher harmonic state.
This is because when you step away, all the winds and tides within existence move you into a path, that is very different from what you thought.
Your karmic equation changes, and you become karma-less in this plane of existence.
And the paradox here is that, you cannot relinquish control by controlling.
It happens as a consequence of true understanding/gnosis/contemplation/inquiry/insight/assimilation/digestion.

Exploring the phenomenon of pain

This thought occurred to me on seeing some of the horrible aspects of societal control used in the medieval Europe era.
They all controlled people through pain in some of the most gruesome ways imaginable.
It seems like there is no counter to pain.
There is just transparency. The absence of pain is bliss.
The relief feeling may be experienced as pleasure.
But the absence of pain does not equate to pleasure.
There is enormous potential for pain possible from the structure of the human body itself.
Death and the burning of the body after, removes all those possibilities of pain because the very structure is released.
It releases THOSE potentials/possibilities of pain permanently because death is like a permanent shift into a subtler state, and physical pain no longer applies just like how water can never be broken like a solid.

The physical apparatus “modulates consciousness energy” according to its structures.
It the play of chemicals, controlled by the physical structures and their cycles.
Every system/contraption/structure resists its dissolution.
So the physical body resists its dissolution via. pain = basically resistance and a loud alarm/cry for you to stop doing what you are doing and take action.

There are different bodies from gross to subtle.
Pain is possible for all bodies.
Grosser the body, more the pain severity possibility and the more limited the pain experience is in its quality. (greater the loss of freedom).
Destruction is usually from gross to the subtle.
e.g.: Hammer on glass. Fist on more tender body parts.
The thing to note here is that actually this is not gross to subtle, but more of robust gross on fragile gross.
The hardest bones like fist/instep/elbow/knee OR ruler/stick/whip/stone against the softest unguarded parts of the body.
The more the differential here, the more gruesome it is.
Like it is really gruesome to watch a 10 ft large stone fall from a height and crush a man.
Because the differential is greater between hardness and softness.

A more thorough and intense destruction happens from subtle to gross, like an atom bomb, acid dissolving, damage of fire, which can actually do far more deep/pervasive/thorough damage.
Ether > Air > Fire > Water > Solid = In terms of its thoroughness of destruction and penetration power.

Various Natural calamities are threats to us in various ways:
Temperature: Heat waves, Ice Age, Solar flares
Earth: Earthquakes, Sinkholes, Volcanoes, Landslides
Wind: Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Cyclone, Gales
Snow: Blizzards, Avalanche
Sand: Sand storms
Rain: Rainstorms, Hail storms, Cloud burst rains
Foreign body: Asteroid
Water: Tsunamis, Floods
Electricity: Thunder
Others: Quick sand, Wild animals, Trees falling.
Interstellar: Supernova, black holes.

All the elements like the air, earth, fire, water have destructive capacities:
[Air = Tornado, massive gale, cyclone
Hot air = Scalding/burning
Cold air = Stinging]
************************
[Water = Tsunami, flood, drowning/crashing
Ice = Freezing/Numbing
Steam = Scalding
Acid = Corroding, Charring, Melting]
************************
Fire = burning/roasting/vaporizing/disintegrating
Earth = the most painful physical injury from blunt/pulverizing/smashing/crushing/impaling OR pointed/shearing/tearing/poking/ripping/cutting impacts

Every structure is subject to so many elemental threats from existence/nature/earth/planet/other life(elemental forms) etc.
************************
And there is also destruction from other organic life, both microscopic and macroscopic.
We are prey for many animals, and we are also hosts for a plethora of microorganisms.
The whole predator-prey equation comes in here.

Each time the integrity of nature’s structure is disturbed there is pain and hurt.
We love all the things that heal us (pleasure us), and we hate all the things that break us (pain us).
Survival and Thriving of the body is greatly prioritized in consciousness.
Every being wants to live and thrive.
Generally moving of identification to subtler structures, gives you more security and vision power.

People are generally controlled by pain.
(c = chakra)
# The pain of lies/delusion/ignorance/preventing access to real knowledge (societal control 5c).
# The pain of taking away loved/desired/cherished objects from you (societal control 4c).
# The pain of shame/alienation/ostracization/banishment (societal control 3c).
# The pain of humiliation/guilt/fear/subjugation (societal control 2c).
# The pain of physical punishment/torture/imprisonment (societal control 1c).

So until there is total disidentification with EVERYTHING, fear is inevitable, and total freedom is an impossibility.
By disidentifying, you are basically setting the thing free.
Disidentification with the grosser layers, lands you into the subtler layers.

The world of threat you find yourself in, depends on your identification.
# A physical identity only concerns himself with physical threats.
# An emotional identity may concern themselves with ghosts, threats from the occult etc.
# A mental being may concern himself with mind control forces, forces of false information and knowledge etc.
# A spiritual being may concern himself with delusions, illusions, false beliefs, madness, discerning truth from falsehood, identifying the, wrong directions, and so on.

Living through the death process

dead_trees

WARNING: This is a somewhat serious and heavy post.
For the readers not interested in the topic of death, this can be skipped.


I am losing control.
I am losing my will-power.
I am dying, fading, receding, dissolving, falling into the ground,
Into a subconscious in-between state.
The state in-between:
# waking and sleep
# waking and dreaming
# life and death
# birth and death
# consciousness and unconsciousness

I am like a dying tree,
Who is in the hands of all of nature’s elements.
I cannot weather the elemental forces anymore.
I submit to them.
I submit to their destruction of me.
The wind blows off my leaves and branches.
Animals eats off whatever they want from me.
Insects feast on me from the outside.
Microorganisms eat me from within.
I am decomposing and falling into the ground of filth,
From where I sprang forth.
It is as if god has given permission to everything in nature to finish me off.
I stand back within this apocalypse and witness tides and tides of destruction, loss, and grief.
The loss of everything I have known.
The loss and destruction continuously happens.
The only function “I” perform with my will, is opening the valve just enough so that it is bearable.
Every-time I open the valve, more of my self is torched in the flame.
Facing death consciously is like facing endless loss and grief.
I know that death is be allowed.
But I am compassionate to the me that is dying,
As every identification is being decomposed, rotted, and reabsorbed.
The process is as pretty as witnessing a vegetable rot in time lapse.
Every death of every part, fills my space with its smoke of grief.
But I only get short breaks, before the next series of deaths start.

My “senses” are going weak.
I can sense/feel/perceive anything only with a lot of strain.
I have to expend a lot of effort to crystallize a momentary perception.
And if I keep doing that, then I will be sent back into a stupor from exhaustion.
My will has become so weak and feeble,
I have to let 95% of things just happen.
I can no longer control my thought and emotion.
I have lost the unity of body mind spirit.
Now they are all fragmented.
It is a descent into chaos like what happens to a kingdom when the king falls.
The various fragments pull and push at each other and scream at the death process, which pulls off their life supports and they all struggle to survive until they fade away.

My mind reacts to the dissolution with painful dreadful suffering visions and agonies,
Which immediately affect the body too with an assortment of painful hormones.
Death is something that is done to you, I am not doing anything.
In fact with the structural dissolution, my power to do decreases more and more.
All I can do with the me that is left is let it happen or resist it.
And resisting it only gives me short breaks.
The flood of the death process, cannot be dammed away for too long.
My motto is: To bear it and allow it as much as possible,
With minimum-damage and suffering, which is the only priority.
The challenge is to go through it with as much grace as you can muster.

Every structure resists death, every structure wants to live.
And so every dissolution of every structure suffers onto its own demise.
Birth and death are suffering.
The growing pains and the dying pains.
Creation is painful and destruction is painful.
There is no escape from pain and resistance.
There is a fundamental duality of:
Statis(inertia, death) ——- Movement(life)
So because the whole of existence/experience is a play of opposing forces,
Resistance as an experience is going to be felt no matter what.
If you sit still, your life force will push on you.
If you move, your inertia will drag on you.

The point of view of ego identification

The ego is the servant of god, and lives at god’s mercy.
The divine can ‘exalt’ or ‘humiliate’ the ego.
That is give power or withdraw all power (the power of the ego’s ability to control).
The ecstasies exalt while the crucifixions/sufferings humiliate.
By identifying and living as the ego, one lives from this point of view that opens this whole spectrum of:
Total Exaltation/Feeling like god —–vs—– Total Humiliation/Absolute victim
Total control ———-vs———– Total loss of control.
Now total loss of control has 2 flavors:
Ecstasy (if one falls into the most highly desired state) ———-vs————— Terror (when one falls into the most undesirable state).
Total control has 2 flavors:
Total control of creating ——–vs——– Total control of destroying
All these flavors of possibility are opened up from the point of view of IDENTIFICATION with the ego.

Ego is resistance to ‘WHAT IS’ -> in the form of controlling/manipulating the experience of ‘What is/Divine’, either seeking advantage or sabotage (positive control vs negative control, whatever is available and desirable).

To untangle the ego, one must release resistance to ‘What is’.
Just sit in your room and feel into existence and witness what you are resisting.
Those are the areas where the [ego structure like knotted balls of wool] are present.
They are the unfeeling/robotic/frozen parts of our instrument(the knotted structures of the ball of wool) we think is us.
Untangle those fibers and release them, so that they may blow freely with the divine wind, illuminating greater consciousness through greater finer feeling.
Untangle the feelers of your instrument so that it can receive more of the divine winds that flow.
Such a process invariably happens from a higher point of view, because the ego cannot witness itself from its own position.

There is no karma/causation/history

causation

The whole notion of there being an accumulation or karma – a storehouse of impressions – is this really true?
Isn’t it is a kind of dream or a kind of imagination?
Isn’t it a kind of dream that a person gravitates to, to find meaning in his life.
What if there is no storehouse, and it is all arising NOW as the emergence/unfolding of the ONE?
Is there really any HISTORY at all?
What if there is no such thing as history apart from an “Imagined history”?
What(the field?) is it that is dreaming up this world?

By imagined I don’t mean the part of imagination that you control consciously (working memory and conscious mind etc.).
I mean the whole that includes the entirety of the IMAGINAL SPACE including the parts that you cannot control but yet are you.

Control is not the only factor determining ownership.
You are both – what you can control and what you cannot control.
You are both – what is voluntary and what is involuntary.
You are the field, and that includes parts you can control and parts you cannot.

The “Small You” as you picture yourself, appears in this SPACE (this space is your context), and the “Real You” is this whole space/field.
You are the imagination of the the philosophers stone, and the philosophers stone appears to you in your imagination as an object (PARADOX).
Is it the same paradox as idol worship.
You see the ALL in the idol, so you are within the idol’s field and it is also true that the idol is an object within your field.
To solve this paradox, we have to understand the holographic nature of reality. We have to understand “mutually-dependent origination”(Buddhism) and the “Indra’s net concept”(Hinduism).
Every point is the whole and contains the whole.
1 – The drop contains the whole ocean
2 – And so does every other drop
3 – And each drop’s potential is reflected in each and every other drop
Contemplate on points 1, 2 and 3.
So you can see the whole from any point of view(pov).
Because every point contains ALL.
That is how one can have those mystical experiences we hear about from people on LSD such as “Seeing the entire universe in an ashtray etc. Other examples might be: Getting the experience of shiva through an idol OR Even seeing the whole universe reflected in the eyes of a lover.

I feel like then the idea of karma, and that one has to exhaust all their impressions and then reach a certain projected/”imaginal” state of peace/bliss/happiness/completion/enlightenment is a dream.
The greatest dream is the dream of pursuing enlightenment.
There is no karma at all.
There is no self or other at all.
There is only the unfoldment of the ONE/WHOLE.
There is no causation because there is no time(time is an appearance in imagination) and no separate objects(separation is an appearance in imagination(of the field)), for one to influence/affect or be the cause of the change of state in an other.
Nothing is substantial and nothing exists apart from the ONE/WHOLE.
No part exists independently from the whole, but rather each part is in-fact part is an appearance of the whole and sustained by the whole.

The whole field is animated by the divine point light like the projector ray of light which moves so fast it creates the illusion of an APPEARANCE/WORLD/CONTEXT/MAYA.
So as one increases one’s frequency of perception more and more, the transition that happens is like: Say you are looking at the TV, and the frequency of your eye keeps on increasing (to the level of a horse fly and greater), what would happen?
Eventually the persistence of vision (1/10th of a second normally) will decrease more and more, and you would start to see images flashing more and more rapidly. Soon the PICTURE would DISAPPEAR, and this is akin to the dissolution of the ILLUSION/MAYA.
Finally when your frequency is super high, you will just see the one point of light (which is actually responsibly for drawing the whole picture).
Now this persistence of vision is an analogy for your FREQUENCY OF VIBRATION.
Higher vibration beings see “what is objectively real for a lower vibrational being” as being only a possibility or an appearance.
What is real for a lower vibrational being is an appearance for a higher vibrational being.

Analogy:
A horse fly may be able to pass in and out of the spinning fan blades.
What looks like a circular solid object to you (fan blades when the fan is in full speed from persistence of vision), to the horse fly it just looks like 3 blades moving, and it can easily find the gap and pass in and out of the horizontal plane of the fan.
Similarly a higher vibration being can perform miracles simply because he sees all the gaps in the rock like illusion of a lower dimensional being.
He can easily see the whole structure of it and its pattern of unfoldment.

So I can say “PERSISTENCE OF VISION” = responsible for creating illusion/dream/maya/continuity. (metaphorically)

Another analogy would be, supposing you are watching a movie, and a character pushes another character and the other one falls down.
Now, from the screen’s point of view, did the 1st character pixels really CAUSE the 2nd character pixels to fall down or shift? OR was it all simply done by the screen?
The whole thing was an emanation from the whole screen, and no part in the screen was the cause of any other part’s movement or affect.

The force of emotions

People’s emotions communicate a FORCE of what you should or should not do, even if the content does not explicitly mention anything.
Infact the emotion is the actual force. The force from content itself is only purely intellectual.
The motivation/driving/behavior center in a human is largely emotionally controlled only.
Emotional control will feel much more overbearing and heavy than pure intellectual control.
That is why emotionally histrionic and crazy mothers, can wreak havoc to the child’s behavior system.
It recreates the same chaos in the recipient and the recipient will feel like he/she is walking in a stormy unpredictable wind.
It also recreates a PTSD like phenomenon, where your body responds with extreme defense to “seemingly ordinary statements” which serve as triggers.
This undue reaction comes from the fear of being overwhelmed totally and controlled, and the extreme resistance you had to put up when you were young (without suitable knowledge and experience to frame these emotional demands).
That stays in the operating system of the recipient like a PTSD, and causes him/her to live in fear (of the unpredictability of their vulnerability to control, which they overcompensate for, by throwing a counter reaction of HARDENING into themselves as a defense(causing disassociation and a great loss of awareness in those moments).