- Cities would be monasteries disguised as infrastructure.
- Technology would aim at cognitive clarity, not dopamine comfort.
- Architecture would support meditative states, not consumer flow.
- Food systems would support energy and wakefulness, not sedation.
- Education would train perception, not conformity.
- Work would be minimal, the body would not be the identity.
- Entertainment would be exploration of consciousness, not numbing.
- Relationships would be energetic resonance fields, not attachments.
- The “economy” would revolve around inner development, not scarcity anxiety.
- The purpose of collective life would be to create states of lucidity, not safety.
- Not a world of insulation, but a world of revelation.
Reflections on the Integration of Life and Death
My grand life’s musing,
Is the integration of life and death,
Where life and death are not 2 separate events,
But where life and death become one.
What is born dies immediately with change.
Change is instaneous,
The very act of perception itself is to see change,
Change as the vibration/alternation between nothing and something,
Happening rapidly maybe 20times a second.
That seems to be the refresh rate of life and change.
All else is the same principle,
Only the scale/degree varies.
Inbreath is the receiving of life,
Outbreath is the exit of life.
Time is this mega-structure,
That rules all meetings and endings,
And rules all becomings and unbecomings.
In a deeper sense,
There is no becoming nor unbecoming,
The same substance just appears to become or unbecome.
In fact becoming and unbecoming are simultaneous in change.
Change instantly becomes the present and unbecomes what was past.
I imagine a large spectrum.
To the left of it are the things most unchanging, very large timescales.
To the right of it are the things that change every millisecond.
Everything lies somewhere in-between this scale.
Whether it is the scale of inbreath-outbreath happening every few seconds,
Or the scale of a relationship like to parents which lasts half a lifetime.
Memory seems to be the only reason for time’s existence,
Without memory time would not exist?
There would only be the instant/now/that.
The layers of time we experience,
Are they not just the layers of memory?
Time is something we know only by its effect.
We cannot perceive time itself.
Time is what forges the memories,
And time is what fades them out.
We only experience what time dishes out to us + our interpretation.
There is more nuance,
Our experience as a subject is because of the lens of our accumulated memories.
There is also the instantaneous perception of time’s immediate action on us – how it affects us.
But we interpret that through the lens of our memories and build even more memory or reshape old ones.
What would be ‘Experience’ without memory is something elusive and I’m not sure it is even possible.
Even something circling close to that would be – Undefinable, Inexpressable, Ineffable directness.
Like what would it be to see without memory, hear without memory, sense without memory.
Is such an impersonal sensing even possible?
Or does the implied “memory lens subject” and “experience” go together?
My highest idea of living in grace,
Is when we let what comes come, and let what goes go.
The evolutionary master bias
Let’s delve into how things look like from the standpoint of “pure consciousness.”
There are 2 masters:
— Evolutionary reality master (what we call ‘Reality’)
— Altered states/Drugs/Trances master (drastic alterations in experiential-landscape/powers/capacities etc.)
Altered states/Drugs/Trances = They’re snapshots of what consciousness can do if freed from the evolutionary throttles.
Now, why people call drugs “escape” is because the evolutionary master never turns off.
— Evolutionary master keeps you alive.
— The other masters show you what life could feel like if survival wasn’t the priority.
But ontologically all of them are equivalent,
Like seeing 2 different movies on the same screen.
The distinction between “ordinary” and “altered” is just a bias of the evolutionary filter itself.
This is the default hypnosis.
Almost everyone is “loyal” to the evolutionary filter.
People measure everything else by it (“drugs are fake,” “dreams aren’t real,” “visions are imagination”).
Most people instinctively rank: survival is “real,” drugs are “illusory/escape,” mystical states are “holy,” dreams are “just dreams.”
Evolutionary filter = unquestioned baseline (capital-R Reality)
Everything else = treated as derivative, illusory, “less real.”
But this framing removes the privileging.
The evolutionary channel enforces its primacy by brute dominance.
The chit-jada granthi (the knot of consciousness with inert matter) is exactly that binding.
The moment awareness dons form, it accepts the chains of hunger, pain, aging, death, and the endless compulsions of survival.
Embodiment means submission to the evolutionary program.
There is jivanmukti (liberated while living) and videhamukti (liberation at death).
The former is you becoming lucid within the structure.
The latter frees you from the bind itself.
On Time, Identity, Desire, and Transformation
Time creates the identity,
Time maintains the identity,
Time exalts the identity,
Time destroys/changes/transforms the identity.
The desires we feel are a combination of 2 things:
1. The projection of the ‘current identity’ expansion/fortification.
2. The projections of past identities expansions/fortifications that stay as ghost images.
Now this current identity could be stable or in the process of transformation,
Or it could have reached a new stability post-transformation.
When identity is transformed by time,
The past-identity projected desires still stay as ghost images.
Even though the new transformed/transforming identity projects different images,
These ghost images stay on the screen too.
Everything thus gets mixed up.
So then there is a deep confusion whenever there is transformation,
As to which desire is from something real or unreal.
In fact by very definition, when in-between a transformation process,
All projections of what is happening are all fleeting and temporary like a dream,
Because a continuously shifting/changing/transforming thing completely veils even the appearance of any essence.
So an identity-transformation process instantly throws a person into emptiness.
He cannot know who/what he is, what he wants/desires, everything in his experience shifts into a unreal dream flow.
If this lasts for 2 decades of his life,
Those entire 2 decades will be like a night dream,
Constantly shifting empty experiences, sort of like being on a psychedelic trip throughout.
Because memory needs a structure to hang off.
But if the structures themselves are changing/morphing, then all the memories have no foothold.
That is why I think we do not remember much of anything before the age of 5.
Because there is too little structure in identity to hold any memories.
So in a way, a person going through a transformation process of identity,
Is in a similar state of consciousness, as someone who is only 2-3 years old.
Early childhood, night dreams, psychedelic trips are the closest analogue to how transformation of identity would feel.
Going through transformation essentially overwhelms the mind when it tries to make sense of it.
It is unable to make an identity/anchor out of all the experiences happening.
It reminds me of the scene in the movie Arrival, when the heptapod aliens just blast the entire screen with innumerable circles.
It becomes impossible to process it and create a coherent narrative.
Identity and the world projection, relaxation and evolution
The world that is seen,
Is not the real nature of the world,
Rather, it is that which is filtered through the identity structure and gets projected as ‘out there’.
The identity is the prism that breaks down the universal white light into the world projection.
The world that one sees and lives in, is really a reflection of the nature and structure of one’s identity itself.
Grosser the identity structure = Grosser the world projection i.e. the world that is experienced/seen/felt etc.
Identity is a kind of tension, a kind of flexing.
This tension makes up its very structure.
The “I” is the unconscious.
It is the unconscious tension held and identified with.
When one relaxes, one loosens this identity.
Theoretically, if one relaxes “Totally”,
The identity tension itself would get relaxed,
The identity would disappear, the world projection too would consequently disappear,
And there would be a fall into Samadhi.
Though, generally when people relax,
They never relax past the identity structure/tension itself.
They only relax until the foothills of their identity tension and stop there.
After all, it is that identity that initiates the relaxing itself right,
Why would it relax beyond itself?
It would only relax until itself and stop there.
The LOC (level of consciousness) is the sophistication/subtlety level of the subtle body.
‘David Hawkins’ has explained this in great detail, outlining various LOCs levels from 0 to 1000.
There are various structures, world views, orientations, occupations, that are germane to these difference LOCs.
A person in the 100s LOC would experientially live in a totally different world compared to someone whose LOC is in the 400s.
The higher the LOC, the more rarefied and subtle the identity structure would be.
The capacity to understand, see, know, intuit would increase with the increase in LOC.
Thinner/subtler the identity, more of the world and its information pours in.
The veil is thinned, and now it deals with way more information and reception.
Generally put, subtler the identity, higher is the level of information received.
The identity structures span from gross to subtle.
The movement of the identity structure/tension into the subtle is accomplished by relaxation.
So the different levels of gross to subtle identity structures are attained by progressively higher and higher levels of relaxation.
Initially the relaxation simply moves to the foothills of the identity struct.
If this is taken further and further, it will start to dissolve the very identity tension itself.
One would then enter a period of chaos of not knowing anything – a dark night of the soul would happen.
This would persist until the new subtler station is reached, and a new identity would form and function at that level.
To give an idea of the subtlety and complexity difference,
Imagine the difference between a Nokia 3310 and an Iphone 15 Pro Max.
The difference is in the sheer subtlety and therefore complexity.
The Iphone 15 Pro Max is like a wholly different dimension of complexity and capability, right.
The subtleization/sophistication of identity is the process of spirituality.
It is the conscious/voluntary yielding more and more of the identity into the ultimate subtle (the movement towards no-thing).
The rules of identity dissolution by relaxation and its reconstruction are demonstrated very well in the field of ‘Cymatics’.
To demonstrate the ‘Cymatics’ principles, there is a metal plate with sand on it, and a frequency generator is placed below the plate.
As the frequency is raised, the sand particles form various geometric patterns.
There are different milestone frequencies where a clear geometric pattern is formed.
In between these milestone frequencies however, the sand on the plate is in a state of chaos, with no clear discernible pattern.
All these terms are connected.
For instance, “Infinite frequency” is essentially a state of “Absolute Rest/Absolute Relaxation”
So the more one relaxes, higher is one’s frequency.
Those in-between periods of disarray are the different ‘dark nights of soul’ that the person has to to pass through, before the new subtler structures emerge.
A very advanced spiritual seeker may go through many such ‘dark night of soul’ periods,
As he/she moves through multiple milestones of identity subtleization and evolution.
This concept is also explained well in “Dabrowski’s theory of positive disintegration”.
Generally what carries a person through such periods of chaos/disarray is faith.
This faith comes from the beyond.
It may come from one’s own hidden spiritual potential, or this process may be initiated by a Guru at a higher level.
The identity by itself will never initiate a relaxation beyond its own structure/tension.
Only something beyond it can move it beyond itself.
We see the world as we are, not the way it actually is.
The more subtle our identity is, the richer the world will appear to be.
Loving and Hating
“Loving” is the “process” coming from “wanting to become conscious…” of something/someone.
“Hating” is the “process” coming from “wanting to become unconscious…” of something/someone.
Mistaken essence is the cause of sorrow
Mistaken essence is the cause of sorrow/suffering.
There is only God/Brahman/Field/Consciousness.
That is the only essence.
All else that is experienced is the play of this singular essence.
So no part of what is seen is essence.
The mistake is to mistake any part of this play to be essence.
It is like gold that is continuously being remodeled and smelted.
Here gold is the essence, and all of the ornaments made with it are subject to change.
So no ornament-form is essence.
Similarly no form in existence is essence.
Essence is formless and quality-less,
And it is not graspable as an object.
One can only be it and experience it directly.
Another analogy would be a VR game,
Where only the “hardware/software/power” are real.
The rest of experience is just the play-out of those 3 as the flow of time.
This is analogous to our essence play as the BME (Body, Mind, Energy) process in time.
No thing is real, and no thing exists.
Only god/brahman/field/consciousness exists.
The evolution process is the play/dream of this field,
And our individual experience is like a figment of this evolution process.
The science of attitude and perception
Every aspect of existence that we see outside,
Has a corresponding component of that within ourselves too.
Perception is from resonance/recognition/alignment.
That is why it is said “You only experience the self, not the world”,
OR “You experience the world only as reflected in your self”.
All perception is a kind of resonance between the outer and the inner.
It is not that the outer and inner are separated in time by a linear process.
They simultaneous spawn,
Like how the dreamer character and the dream environment spawn together simultaneously.
Like for example, if you start to hate some aspect of yourself,
At that very instant, you also simultaneously prime yourself into hating all other potential reminders/representations/symbols/patterns of that aspect from the outside.
This is because, reality is ‘experience’,
And experience is fractal in nature.
What you hold in mind, you see outside.
And what you see outside, you hold in mind.
You see similar motifs/patterns/symbols/representations,
i.e. all that reflect the idea that you are holding.
The outer-inner appear to be in a constant state of transaction.
Sometimes an inner change alters the outer perception.
Sometimes an outer change alters the perception of the inner.
So from this level of perspective,
There is not even a you vs an other or inner vs outer.
It is a single swath that instantly manifests together.
The attitudes I hold towards every aspect of existence,
Multiply themselves infinitely and instantly throughout the entire scape of existence.
When saying ‘The attitudes I hold…’, I was implying that I am the determiner.
But actually, when delving deeper, I see that even these attitudes,
Also seem to be ‘appearances’.
Rather then being something I determine,
They seem to be flowing through and expressing through me.
My ability to alter them or control them,
Seems to be determined by how much energy/power I have,
And my level of perception and dis-identification i.e. whether I can even perceive those attitudes as objects in my awareness.
This energy level is again conditional of sort, again the effect of many other cyclic processes.
To dis-identify from anything, you must first have the power/energy to separate yourself from it and see it as an object.
When enmeshed and identified into something,
Even if you can see this enmeshment,
You need enough power/freq/energy to extricate yourself out of that.
It is similar to how we need enough external force to overcome newton’s first law of inertia.
Generally, you function from a certain station of freq,
While accessing all kinds of states from there.
This I call the LOC (level of consciousness) of the subtle body.
I could say, ‘What you are is where you are seeing from’.
What you do not see, will be something you are subject to, and it will rule you from within.
What you do see, is something subject to you, and can be ruled.
For many people, what I see is that, their life-fires/soul are enmeshed and identified with their genetics (to varying degrees/levels).
It is like they are embedded inside those grids, and therefore all of their life fires only serve the demands of those structures.
They are completely unaware of this, because they identify totally with the feelings/perceptions arising from these grids.
It reminds me of animals, how they function only within 2 lines, only within a certain set pattern.
For human beings, it seems,
The bottom line is similar to reptiles/mammals,
But the top line is super high.
The spectrum is vast and there is enormous potential to rise up in awareness.
The 2 kinds of relationships I’ve experienced
I’ve seen 2 kinds of relationships in my life:
# Connections through resonance
# Connections through projection/role-play
Connecting through resonance:
Two minds understand each other when they are attuned/honed to each other,
That is, when both the minds are operating at a similar frequency, they see similar views.
For instance, say you are floating on a hot air balloon.
If you spoke to someone on the ground, his view would be entirely different from yours.
You may be able to talk a little about his surroundings, because you know where he is standing,
Similarly, he might see your balloon and ask you a few questions about that.
But overall, there would not be much to share or connect about.
But suppose you spoke to another person in another hot air balloon at the same height,
Then so much of the view is shared, and thereby you both can easily connect, right?
Two minds can connect if they share the same level of subtleness of perception.
I call this the “LOC” – The level of consciousness of the subtle body.
Generally, things like world view, concerns, ideas, perceptions, thoughts, feelings can be easily shared with another being at the same LOC level.
There is ‘what you are seeing’, and ‘from where you are seeing’.
The LOC is about ‘from where you are seeing’.
If the ‘from where you are seeing’ is common,
Then understanding each other would be very effortless.
Connecting to another being who shares your LOC level,
I call ‘connecting via. resonance’.
Whatever you say to them will be understood fairly easily.
Actually you both already see from the same place.
The talking is more a celebration of the connection already active.
It is a sort of mutual enrichment.
Often there is instant recognition here.
This kind of relationship does not need much time,
And feels comfortable and deep at the start itself.
The other kind of relationship I have had is via. projection/role-play.
These kinds of relationships are mostly from external situations (sharing the same environment, context etc.)
What are called ‘situational relationships’ would come under this.
# Like the roles of being a colleague/coworker/college lab partner/project partner/college friend in the same class, neighbor next door etc.
# I would also include specific interest group connections under here.
Because interest group connections are also somewhat goal based – Check this out, What do you think of this? etc.
They are fairly circumscribed and specific to a certain frame and scope.
# Also, any work related relationships would come in this category.
Like even the relationship you may have with people standing in the same queue as you to buy movie tickets.
# Even healing group members are not necessarily at the same LOC level.
For instance, Two people might connect with each other from their unresolved anger issues, or through their common addiction to something, but their LOCs could be vastly different.
# Even relations with family members, relatives etc. could fall here.
Because they too are certain frames of role-play.
# Even romantic relations are often projection/fantasy/role-play based.
If it does not have enough of resonance elements, then the relationship would fizzle out quickly, i.e. after the ‘enjoyment of the novelty/projection/role-play/fantasy/specific-quality-admiration based interaction’ is completed.
The absurdity of the ‘love yourself’ mantra
This is something that has perplexed me since childhood.
I’d keep hearing slogans like ‘be yourself’, ‘love yourself, ‘believe in yourself’, and so on.
I used to wonder, what is this self that they are referring to, while pointing at me.
Where is this self? What is it?
Is it my image of their idea of what I am, what I should be, or what I think they want me to be?
Is it my own image of what I am independent of them being around me?
But generally my own image of what I am, is heavily and actively conditioned/influenced by who is around me (in silent or talking level interaction with me) and the larger surroundings in that place.
Even if nobody is around me, my self is some sort of a more diffused response to the environment around me.
My general personality/disposition/investments/ways of thinking-perceiving-feeling etc. are part nature and part nurture.
I can recall an active self forming at the age of 6, then a more developed one at 11, and I think after the age of 28 it seems to have stabilized itself.
But what was that active self that first formed? What existed before the age 6?
It feels like I just emerged from a bunch of situations throughout early childhood.
Ok, then was I born a clean slate? – I don’t relate with that too.
I have no continuous memories of anything below the age 4-5, but I intuit I could have already had a seed with its potentials/proclivities/tendencies/patterns (what they call samkharas and vasanas in vedic literature).
So maybe the selves that formed through 6, 11, 20, 24, 28 etc. were different milestones where a distinctive evolving pattern emerged in my vibrating sands (like the sand patterns in Cymatics as the frequency is raised).
So my deeper self then could be my bio-memory embedded in the whole body (in its trillions of cells)? – Coming from my forefathers, ancestry, genetics, lineage.
That genetics could have passed on its own fantasies, ideals, projects, works, characteristics, goals, preoccupations etc. that I identify with or dis-identify with depending on my own past lives?
In my own past lives, again the same situation might have been there, of genetics, upbringing, conditioning, social environment (the yuga at that time) and its influence etc.
So it sort of loops on itself. When did it all start?
The dilemma is like, when you are a tree, you search for your source.
You find out, you grew from a seed.
But a seed cannot grow without the fertile ground.
So the ground is also responsible for the tree.
But that seed itself has come from a previous full grown tree (the past life), and so on.
It goes into an infinite regress loop.
My whole quest to find an independent self eludes me.
I just cannot grasp a ‘me’ that exists independently.
From my contemplation, I see none of any of this is me.
Because if I can perceive it as an object,
Then the me must be separate from the object right?!
The deeper I contemplate this, I realize that what I am is transcendent of language itself.
It is a transcendent dimension, what they call consciousness.
Journey to the Abstract 