What transmits from generation to generation

What I have observed is that,
There are 2 factors that determine a person’s actions:

# The situations/circumstance/surroundings/cultural-setups/environments (their adaption, fitting-in strategies, accommodation to all of that etc.)
# Their own interests/desires (which they pursue)

Generally, in the transmission from say parents to children (in the flow of genetic lineage),
Only the real essential desire of the parent is transferred to the child.
And whatever the parent did as adaptation, accommodation, and adjustment based on family/cultural/socio-political pressures of those times, does not pass over to the children.
This is because the children were brought up at a different world-time/age, with different family/socio-cultural/political/situational variables.
The world itself is at a different generation when the children are born,
And therefore the children adapt to those conditions,
And only the essential desires of the lineage continue through them.

For instance,
Say a father worked loyally in a single company all his life as a duty,
While the son decides to not work at all, and only work on his private passions.
On the surface, this looks like the father and son are entirely different.
But a more in-depth examination might reveal,
The father never had any real heart vested in the company affairs.
He may have done all of it from familial/moral/socio-cultural pressures,
While his real heart desire was in his personal interests.
So it is only the real heart desire that passes on to the son.
This can be taken much deeper than this,
But even now, with only this much penetration into the matter,
The son’s decisions do not look so outlandish in the light of this understanding, right?

Another instance would be,
If the mother dutifully married, had children, spent her whole life mixed up with them etc.,
Her daughter might take up a completely different meaning in life and become ultra career focused.
Again, on the surface, both look completely different.
But on deeper examination,
Maybe the mother, as an adaptation to her circumstances, went along with that wave,
But her real desire was to fuse her identity into something larger.
Her situation might have been such that the role of caretaker was what allowed her this larger experience and expansion.
So the daughter in alternate times, may seek to fulfill this same desire by absorbing herself into the corporate world and its goals (career).
It is the same desire expressing itself in 2 different situations and times.
This is actually still just slightly under the surface, but even this level of understanding reveals the continuity and similarity of desires passing through.

Everyone gravitates towards freedom of some kind

I feel like every person finds their niche,
Where they seek their freedom from.

Some like the freedom of having plenty of money,
And all of the potential/possibility that brings.

Some like the freedom of enrolling into the institution of marriage.
This frees them from the prior insecurity of relationship,
And now they have a safe space to build a bond with the other person.
Then once you have a stable bond, you can have the additional joy of having children,
And having the joy of sharing a profound relationship with a few beings/souls.
Then there is also the social dimension which approves of this and gives you the freedom of social connection (camaraderie/rapport) with all of the others who are similarly married and having children.
And so on.

Some like the freedom of being a nomad and traveling and exploring different parts of the world.

Some like the freedom that the latest technology brings.
Like having the most powerful computer or smartphone or camera etc.
These uber level tools help them access many kinds of potential experiences.

Some like the freedom of buying their own land and house,
And making whatever they want and however they want in that space.

Some like the freedom they get when working for a stable job in an MNC.
Because this frees them from job and social insecurity.
It provides a common frame (a shared environ) for many people to collude with and connect to.
Now they have a safe container to thrive in and explore all its possibilities.
Every company premise nowadays is like a small township right? (before 2020)

Some like the freedom of sexual conquest.
That is, working to making themselves as desirable as possible,
So that they can have the greatest freedom to choose mates and explore that aspect of human nature.

Some like the freedom of the internet in terms of acquiring all kinds of knowledge they are interested in.
The internet is like an unlimited library of knowledge giving immense possibilities for learning any kind of thing.

The list is endless.
As of me, where I find my freedom from, is in the niche of creative self expression.
I get it from expressing/translating/conceptualizing/depicting/articulating/symbolizing and sharing the flow of visions/insights/ideas appearing in my inner space.

Bonding with ideals vs. real people

When mothers or fathers do not extend a bond to their children,
The children may create an “idealized fantasy parent” and then seek for a reflection of that in the world.
The reasons for why the mothers/fathers did not extend the bond could be related to their own past.
After all they too were children at one time, subject to parents who might have done the same to them, and so on.
The parents themselves might be victims of the same, pursuing an ongoing project of meeting an impossible ideal [parent imposed or self created (usually an oppositional reaction)] and redeeming themselves.
So like the game of passing the parcel, they pass on their own failed project to their children, who then either continue that or choose otherwise.

PS: The roles of parent and child are in a kind of looping rotation.
…Parent -> Child[Parent -> Child[Parent -> Child…

So this goes on and on in the threads of family lineage and genetics.
In such cases, each next generation gets wounded by the projection of the ‘previous generation ideals’ on them.
Then the next generation either make their own counter ideals or try to fulfill the projected ideals, and accordingly seek in the world.
For such family systems, whole threads of genetic lineage then live off an attachment system that is entirely ungrounded/disconnected and based in the imaginal/imaginary spaces of ‘fantasy/ideals/mythic creations’.
It is a kind of primal disconnection and dissociation from reality itself, by moving attachment to the imaginary rather than what actually exists.

This also has a close connection to idol (imaginary gods) worship,
Which is also based on projection of ideals.

When forming relationships/bonds, I’ve noticed there are 2 clear categories:
# The people who bond in reality/actuality
# The people who bond in idealization/imagination
I’ll talk about the 2nd category here.
When both the partners meeting each other have an attachment to their internal idealized figure, they start to project the ideal onto each other.
The agreement then is more like a fantasy role-play:
“You play my fantasy, and I will play yours.”

There are different relational dynamics that can happen from here.
One of them is:
One of the parties projects the ideal onto the other, and the other tries to live up to that to secure the bond.
Generally the one with the narcissistic wound will take it upon himself/herself to live up to the other’s ideal projection.
“If only I can improve myself, strive, and be good enough, to meet the other’s ideal, then I can secure my bond with them.”
The one projecting the ideal does so from some kind of primal entitlement that somehow escaped the socialization process.
They are like the demanding baby that expects the whole world to come and serve their needs.

A relationship like this could work, if the fantasy projections are doable and somehow align (socialization generally tempers the ideals to realistic levels).
But most of the time, the ideals are intense and impossible.
In a way, by very definition, ideals are impossible right?
Reality is always something else.
So often in such relationships, there is alternating role play,
Of the projector and the adapter.
Both the parties wound each other’s real selves with each other’s ideals.

The bond is never secured from start to end.
However these relationships kindle the inner flames of longing, passion, intensity, purpose, hope and other such feelings.
In that sense they are like an adventure and gratify you with the above feelings.
They make you forget your pain of disconnection and lostness.
They are exciting but empty and illusory – like an extended more involving movie.

Imagine you were really thirsty and ran with full passion and joy towards a mirage in the desert.
This experience is something like that.
When you do reach the actual sand patch where the mirage was seen,
The water has disappeared, and now the mirage has receded to the horizon again.
This is how ideals are unsatisfiable and impossible.
Even the conception of these ideals keep shifting to more and more complex and impossible forms.
No depiction can fully capture the fantasy/ideal.

Various traumas and deprivations may be instrumental in what directions and forms these ideals take.
Ultimately we long for the infinite.
And when we focus this longing onto the realm of relationships,
The above patterns happen.
Relationships are a stepping stone and not the end goal itself.
If seen that way, and if both the partners are actually seeking god through the relationship,
The relationship will only raise them higher.

The whole idea of romantic relations may be a social construct

I had this wacky train of thought come to me.
Hope viewers of this post find it entertaining/interesting.

The whole idea of romantic relationship is a societal/cultural/civilizational/human-organization based construct.
If all humans just lived wild,
Males would randomly have sex with 100s of women, and probably have 30-40 children each or more.
The male would not know who his child is.
Also, there seems to be no easily observable causality linking the sexual act to the consequence of pregnancy, and the consequent children that come from that.

There is just a wild instinctual desire for the male.
Similarly women too feel this same wild desire, in certain time periods, and depending on their mood they may run away, resist, or allow the sex to happen.
The man in his prime years would probably be more motivated, since he can easily manage to do 1 or 2 every day without any time-off periods.

The things is, after the sex, the woman too may not be able to causally connect the act of sex to the pregnancy that happens after.
Could she not take it as something that just naturally happened from God?
So the causality is not known from either side, male or female.

The female would bond with the child from the oxytocin and breastfeeding period, and that bond may result in the child and mother recognizing each other.
But there is no way the child will know the father, and neither will the father know.
It could be anybody.
If the woman has had sex with 5 men in a day, and gets pregnant, how would she have any idea who caused the child OR if the 5 acts had anything to do with the child at all?
The first symptoms of pregnancy after all come much later, probably a fortnight later at least, right?

Another aspect is that, if the child grows up away from the mother from a young age, it is doubtful if the mother can recognize the child.
The child may recognize the mother, because her age may not change her appearance as much in the 15-45 zone, but even that may not be easy.

So it seems like the entire notion of civilization/society is to regulate birth and to ensure the spread of resources to everyone.
By putting the responsibility on the father, the father is deterred from following his raw instinct and seeking new mates.
Similarly, a responsibility is also put on the mother, to take care of the child for much longer than she might have otherwise done.
The socialization/enculturation/civilization process is to suppress the sex instinct’s wildness, and instead redirect it into the structures of society, that is, to gain status/position/rank and then seek out the opp-sex of similar status/position/rank etc.
This I guess spawns the whole matrix of mating/romantic fantasy and social status/rank/position/specialness.
The fantasy of being the elite and mating with other elite,
Like the notion of kings/queens, emperors/empresses, prince/princesses and so on.

Names are used in societal organization to TAG the person.
It is an identifier similar to your debit card number, social security number and so on.
Similarly even the roles of mother/father are tags society puts on folk.
Like XXX is the mother of XXXX —–OR—— XXXX is the father of XXXX.
Also the agreement of marriage itself, is really a contract/agreement that serves the children who will be born from the mating of the 2.

Marriage was essentially a system created for the bringing up of children.
Nowadays people use it for companionship, but that is a conscious contract of sort, and it does not have much binding, since both the parties are independent.
It is only the child that is born helpless, and needs a lot of nurture at least till the age of 10.

There seems to big rift in the way “natural biology drives/impulses/instincts” operate and in the way we view everything from the “societal/cultural/civilizational lens”.
The former is generally subsumed into the latter in the process of socialization.
I guess, based on seeing the consequences, ramifications, and aftermath, birth causation etc. – Wise people with vision created systems such as culture/society/civilization to organize and regulate the different drives so that the system could serve in the longer term as a win-win for everyone.
Society/Culture then seems like a long distance vision of how people can live together and mutually fulfill all their needs .
As more needs get satisfied, people may become conscious of finer and subtler needs, which would gradually make their way into modifying society’s formal or informal structures.

Dependent and Narcissist personality spectrum

The brain always chooses the better option, in its own judgment.
Whether Conscious or unconscious,
Depends on whether that mechanism,
Which was formed when young, was owned/claimed.

In dependent personality or narcissistic personality,
There is an unconscious polarization mechanism.
In the dependent polarity it thinks, “the other always knows better and is better”.
In the narcissist polarity it thinks, “I always know better and am better”.
There is a parent imago projection:
Positive parent imago projection = favor the other and self-sacrifice as much as possible.
Negative parent image projection = favor the self, and stick to self as much as possible.
Which is: Idealization or devaluation of parents in the self structure.

Very early premature individuation = narcissism.
Unable to individuate and being dependent on the other = dependent personality.
Individuation at the balanced time = balanced social personality mix.

Generally the kid will take on the opposite polarization of the opp-sex parent,
If that parent invests in the kid (This insight needs more investigation though).
Dependent children usually have a narcissist opposite sex parent.
Narcissist children usually have a dependent opposite sex parent.

Why is motherhood worshipped but sexuality demonized?

A deep trend I observe in society is:
Maternal instinct is deified —while— Sexual instinct is demonized.
Are they not the 2 sides of the same coin?
Ultimately isn’t the sexual instinct prior to the maternal instinct itself?
How would the children even happen without sex?
The mother’s urge to play and protect the child, is it not the same as the male’s urge to protect and play with the opposite-sex?
Why is the sexual instinct and mothering instinct treated like they belong to 2 different levels of reality?
Aren’t both of them part of the same nature?
And it is totally prevalent across the entire animal kingdom.
What gives the mothering instinct is also driven by hormones only, just as all of sex-instinct too is driven by hormones.
Why is the mothering instinct elevated to a different level of reality?
It is considered a blasphemy even to think about it.
This is a vast topic, but just wanted to share this as food for thought.

Spirit world and Material world

three-states-of-matter-ice-water-steam

There are differing ratios of Spirit-Matter in different planes of existence.
[Look up “Sant Mat – inner planes of existence” if interested in a model]
What we call earth depends on which plane you are on, i.e. which plane you are aligned and tuned to.
You are not in earth, rather you and the earth are appearances within and as a certain energetic frequency ‘YOU'[your higher self/soul/your deeper reality…you get the idea] are tuned into.
Are you looking at the “material earth” OR the “spiritual earth”? it depends on whether you are TUNED into the material plane or spirit plane.
I have created 2 simplistic categories so that I can explain the concept.
But basically what I am trying to convey is that, there are innumerable planes of experience/existence spanning from gross to subtle.
Gross[material] plane ——–innumerable in-between planes————– Subtle [Spirit] plane
And these planes have differing ratios of spirit to matter.
Spirit is lowest, matter is highest [dense material plane] —-vs—– Spirit is highest, matter is lowest [rarefied spiritual plane]

Spirit is energy/life/subtle/aliveness/electricity/non-physical/imperceptible.
Spirit infused into matter creates ‘VIBRATION’ which is then perceivable.
So then are you matter or spirit?
The relationship is a bit more complex.
Really, there is only ONE ENERGY, we can call in caps ‘SPIRIT’.
SPIRIT[spirit, matter]
The duality of spirit-matter comes out of this, which is what creates existence as a form OR material plane existence and so on.
Like how, we have [ice, water, steam].
All 3 of these are the same essence but vibrating at different rates.
Lower vibration = gross = matter ————– Higher vibration = subtle = steam.
But all of the forms of water are the same essence.
So coming back to spirit-matter, spirit-matter are like Yin-Yang dual pairs.
They mutually and interdependently give each other meaning.
‘matter’ is because ‘spirit’ is, and ‘spirit’ is because ‘matter’ is.
But both are made up of ‘SPIRIT’ Essence(note the caps).
Like how H2O molecule transcends all the various forms water can take, ‘SPIRIT’ OR ‘GOD’ OR ‘The ONE’ is that ‘primordial essence/singular principle’ that manifests in the infinite forms/varieties/experiences.

Now coming back to the spirit/material realms/planes/worlds concept.
I will use a monitor screen analogy to explain it further.
Your monitor refresh rate is right now 60hz (sometimes 75hz or even 120hz).
That means 60 times a second, a TOTAL refresh is possible.
That means I could have a strobe light flash through every pixel in the screen in 60 different colors one at a time within one sec.
This refresh rate is its ‘FREQUENCY’.
So this is a great analogy to explain, what high-frequency spirit planes are like.
Higher the frequency, higher the freedom.
Very young Children are in this state (much higher frequency), and even good quality LSD can create this HYPER-PRIMING state of high frequency which is felt as exhilarating, joy, and freedom.

Children come into being from the spirit world to the material world.
And this is not instant but a certain gradual process of shifting from the higher freq spirit world into the lower freq material world. A descent.
Think about it, when does the greatest amount of creation happen (fundamental creation that is)? In the womb?? (so the womb is sort of a transition plane from the higher freq to the lower freq when the basic form of incarnation happens).
Even in the initial years of life until the age of 6, one is in a HYPER-PRIMING stage (similar to LSD) where imprinting happens.
Thereafter we live life through that form and experience life through the more or less crystallized imprinted form patterns in the material plane.
Which is what makes us have a specific personality and traits.
If we were in the higher freq spirit realms, you can shape shift profoundly into anything and experience it and change into something else a mili-second later.
Now one very interesting point, generally we become more fearful of change after we grow because there is less freedom/less energy (low freq energy is more difficult to change). We are afraid of imprinting – why? because we will not have the energy to change it later.

Lower frequency realms are like solidified dreams.
Like whatever happens to us, has a DRAG time, and this DRAG time is SIGNIFICANTLY greater the lower our frequency is.
Depression is the frequency of spirit is very low – in other words, you feel powerless, helpless to CHANGE your state. It is not only very difficult to change your state, you once again get stuck in whatever new state you arrive at. The depression pain is mainly spiritual, the pain of losing freedom.
Depression is your being moving into the lower freq of hell realms.
The opposite is exhilaration tingly vibratory feelings which happen as spirit influxes into your form.

Ecstasy is your being moving into the higher freq of heavenly realms.
Heaven and Hell realms can be conceptualized in terms of:
Low freq material worlds = Hell —————– High freq spirit worlds = Heaven
(Heaven and hell are relative remember, they are not absolute places)
In the high freq heaven spirit worlds, you can MOVE through vast experiences as fast as your monitor can update say, 60 times a second.
Whereas in the low freq hell material worlds, it takes a lot of effort to update your state of being, and once you arrive there, again it will take a lot of effort to change it. So really there is no freedom at all in comparison.

Another aspect I wanted to talk about besides freq was amplitude and power.
You could be powerful in a low frequency realm = Science (the imagination caught in the imaginary)
You could be powerless in a high frequency realm = Religious visionary
This ties into the saying:
Science is blind, Religion is lame.
Frequency determines the radio station – realm you are tuned into.
Amplitude determines the volume – amplitude or power of the signal.
Like a person who is tuned to the material world (low freq) but with a lot of amplitude/power, will be an achiever, go-getter, powerful human in the human game.
Whereas a spiritual seeker, his being may be tuned to the high frequency but he cannot sustain any amplitude and feels totally powerless and helpless.

So I made 4 variations:

High frequency + High amplitude = Spiritual master (fast and total change) = LSD like aliveness “All is spirit” experience.
High frequency + Low amplitude = Spiritual seeker (fine awareness but slow change from lack of power) = Deep insights but inability to change much.
[Spiritual seeker ——and ———- Spiritual master] = Are both spirit world high-freq experiences.

Low frequency + High amplitude = Doer/Achiever in the world (low awareness but fast change) = Societal achiever and go-getter
Low frequency + Low amplitude = Depression (low awareness and slow change) = Dull slow leaden sub-human state.

I read somewhere in literature, that angels live in the high-freq visionary worlds but have low power.
Whereas humans live in the low-freq material world but have high power.
So what would you choose, if those were the 2 options?

Happiness and Depression in general

happiness-depression

My real happiness automatically means the other person is accepted.
My depression automatically means the other person is not accepted.
This is a side effect, it is based on the overall context of that person’s life itself (much beyond the person’s will power or control available).
It is not something the person chooses as such (they do have a choice but it is not much, like it is only from the top of the iceberg portion.)

That is why universally beings gravitate to happy beings (and avoid depressed beings).
Depressed (low spirit contact) ——————————— Happy(high spirit contact)
That is because universally what is loved is ‘spirit’.
That is why children are naturally loved, because they are the closest to ‘spirit’.

So the idea of bringing up children, is for them to have minimum loss of spirit as they grow up.
It is to minimize the loss of their spirit as you introduce them to society, culture, human games, and creating an identity etc.

You want them to choose an identity from their own freedom and then help shape it better like a potter adding finesse using all of your experience and knowledge.
(One easy way to kill a child’s spirit is impose/enforce something seriously unreasonable on him (role-reversal etc.) or something totally different and out of his nature, and tell him – “Be THAT otherwise you are a shameful loser”)
Bringing up happy adults -> retention of a high amount of spirit in adulthood
Bringing up depressed adults -> loss of a lot of spirit in adulthood

In other words, if the ‘identity’ serves spirit you have a happy person, else a depressed person.

Of course depressed adults will program the children with the depression programming – consciously(top of iceberg) or unconsciously(under the iceberg).

So there are only 2 kinds of families really:
Happy families, Unhappy families – and infinite variation of these 2 themes.

Spirit I feel is not a specific kind of expression, way of being, behavior pattern, appearance etc. It can express itself in a multitude of ways.
I feel all spirit means is high electricity/high energy = high freedom
Spirit = freedom
So a person is happy when he has spirit, that is freedom.
A person is unhappy when he lacks spirit, that is being stuck.

‘Ken Wilber’ says the same:
Contact with Spirit = Happiness
Away from Spirit = Depression
That’s all there really is.

All 3 spectrums are equivalent:
Freedom ————————— Stuck
Happy——————————- Depressed
High spirit ————————- Low spirit

We all love the child

happy-child-680x454

We all love the child
Who dances like nobody is looking
Who sings like nobody is listening
Whose joy radiates and influences others
Who is spontaneous without a care
Who involves himself into you, giving no heed to your history
Who celebrates each moment in the mood of wonder
Who looks at the ordinary like it’s extraordinary
Who bears within him vast potentials
Whose total absence of self-consciousness is refreshing
Who invests in the moment like there is no tomorrow
Who trusts you so fully to be oblivious in your arms
We recognize the child, because that is us
The lost part of us, the treasure we have lost
Which we are seeking to reclaim

Parents are the life enabler for the child

Parents are the life enabler and mentors for the child – they have lived here longer, and introduce the child to society and nurture the child’s INHERENT potentials.
Parents who are blind to their children’s potentials, not only thwart the child’s deeper inherent flows, they also impose a DEAD operating system (dead in the sense, not based on the reality of the child, which they are blind to).
This dead operating system might mainly serve the parents and the factions of society the parents are connected to.
Parents impose these “dead/hard and fast/rigid/militaristic/inflexible” systems by using GUILT AND FEAR because OBVIOUSLY the child’s natural inherent potentials would abhor and resist such a system being imposed.
Imposing such a dead operating system is a good way to guarantee depression for the child who has to not only GET RID of this toxic system (filled with guilt and fear) but also rebuild a system that supports his inherent potentials.

Parents usually do this, because they themselves are disconnected from themselves and are simply perpetuating a dead failing system providing by their parents onto them. A chain of “dysfunction/abuse/neglect/misdirection of energy/faulty beliefs” simply passes on and on, until someone has the intelligence to LOOK AT IT SQUARE and remove this toxic programming.
Until one’s cures one’s own dysfunction, it will simply PERPETUATE.
Unhappy parents, will most like impose their unhappy algorithms on their children too.
Not only that, needy unhappy parents are even worse, because they isolate and trap the child into serving them.
There is no limit as to how bad this can get, and therefore, it is never too late to take responsibility.