Mistaken essence is the cause of sorrow/suffering.
There is only God/Brahman/Field/Consciousness.
That is the only essence.
All else that is experienced is the play of this singular essence.
So no part of what is seen is essence.
The mistake is to mistake any part of this play to be essence.
It is like gold that is continuously being remodeled and smelted.
Here gold is the essence, and all of the ornaments made with it are subject to change.
So no ornament-form is essence.
Similarly no form in existence is essence.
Essence is formless and quality-less,
And it is not graspable as an object.
One can only be it and experience it directly.
Another analogy would be a VR game,
Where only the “hardware/software/power” are real.
The rest of experience is just the play-out of those 3 as the flow of time.
This is analogous to our essence play as the BME (Body, Mind, Energy) process in time.
No thing is real, and no thing exists.
Only god/brahman/field/consciousness exists.
The evolution process is the play/dream of this field,
And our individual experience is like a figment of this evolution process.
The body is an extension of the earth
The body belongs to the earth.
It is an extension of the earth.
Its life is heavily dependent on the conditions present on earth.
The earth-body is a singular system.
The body is what the earth puts out and then reabsorbs/recycles back into itself.
We cannot separate the body from the earth and take it away from it and still survive.
Even when traveling to space etc. we create incubator like setups,
Where we nevertheless still simulate a cocoon of earth like conditions.
So we are still bonded to the conditions on earth.
As a body we can never be free from earth.
Simulating earth like conditions and traveling outside does not make us free from earth.
That is like wanting to experience the Sahara desert, while sitting inside an airconditioned SUV.
We will only experience the same conditions that are anyways present on earth.
Generally we try to extend the possibilities of bodily experience as much as possible.
For instance the experience of 0 gravity, is essentially the experience of an extended free fall.
However it is not true adventure.
The body is still heavily limited to the needs and dependence on earth like conditions.
Identification with the body but no identification with the earth is ignorance.
From a larger perspective, the whole earth is our body.
Bondage to the body is bondage to earth itself.
Liberation from the body is liberation from earth itself.
Can you detach one of your fingers and have it live a life free from your body?
In a way, that is how we are bound to the conditions of earth.
That too, only certain regions of earth, that are hospitable and favorable to the body.
So in essence the body cannot be free from earth by its very nature.
Allotments of desire to serve or take responsibility
Abstractly seen,
There are “quotas/allotments of desires” functioning through us.
I think this is exactly what they call “Prarabdha karma”.
I feel we gravitate and are attracted to the ‘genetic instruments’ and ‘conditions’ that will be best suited to serve those desires.
‘Genetic instruments’ here refers to our choice of which human body to occupy for this lifetime.
And of course, this genetic instrument will be a child of many other surrounding conditions that will be like the larger body surrounding it.
To give an analogy:
Supposing you wanted to do a lot of professional video editing work and are continuously on the move, you might choose to buy a high end Apple Macbook Laptop for that purpose.
But suppose, lets say you wanted to play the latest AAA pc games which require the most powerful GFX card, and are mostly at home, then you might choose to buy a much bigger Desktop PC.
If you live in the US, you would get it cheaper, compared to buying it from India.
Similarly, in US you might also get many more options for the hardware components.
So based off that analogy, here in this case:
We choose an instrument from the choices available in the market,
To fulfill our requirements/desire/purpose.
We are also limited by what is available in the market at that point of time.
Just like how when we desire/need something,
We check out the local market at that time,
And make a choice from what’s available.
I think similarly, when taking birth here we might probably have a similar set of constraints.
Then there is the concept of responsibility.
I think responsibility is something we take up from our own desires.
Generally we refer to the overheads as responsibility.
For example, take the statement:
“I enjoy my smartphone, but I am responsible to keep it safe and in good condition”.
# Here the desire is to enjoy the functions/features/abilities of the smartphone.
# But the responsibility is the overhead of maintaining it, keeping it safe, and so on.
Another example would be, say our desire is for a monthly salary, then we would take up a job (take on some responsibility) so that we are paid that salary (which is the desire).
So in short, all responsibilities serve our desires.
Responsibilities are necessary overheads we take on for fulfilling our desires.
It is desires that is primary.
Responsibilities are its supporting function.
Next let’s cover ‘disposition and attitudes’.
Our personality/dispositions/attitudes are also ways to serve our desires only.
They are like the background/backdrop conducive factors.
For instance: Say I have the desire to be liked by everyone and avoid conflict.
Then naturally, the disposition I would adopt would be: ‘polite, pleasant, diplomatic, highly adaptable’.
So your disposition definitely conveys your desire.
But even here, desire is primary.
The disposition and attitudes are like conducive fragrances to attract the bees that you desire.
Another reason for birth could be for balancing out the personality.
For instance, say someone was an insensitive bully in his former life.
He could then choose a birth of being an artistic, sensitive, and weaker person to experience those opposite qualities.
That would satisfy his desire for balance and neutrality.
After all, we can truly move to non-duality only when we transcend all dualities, right?!
This is a dictum I learned from Teal Swan: “To heal from anything is to experience its opposite”.
So figure out what your real desires are.
And the things that you have taken up in your life to fulfill them.
This is more a contemplation on ‘why’ by conscious observation, and the goal is for ‘revelation’.
Even looking at your mundane life and tiny decisions, will reveal a lot of deeper things about yourself.
Human life seems to be a conspiracy between the moon and earth
Human life is a descent into earth as a physical form,
While death is the ascent back to the non-physical.
A woman’s body is tuned to the cycles of the moon.
The egg that is produced every month is a seed possibility.
An egg gets created once every month from the age of puberty until menopause,
From say 13 to 50, i.e. for 37 years.
The egg will however take a human form only if it receives the necessary inspiration.
If the right inspiration is received, things move forward,
And like a potter’s wheel, the human being is then forged by the forces of time.
Like a paint smear from start to finish, it starts thick and fades out.
Time in the womb – Birth – Infancy – Childhood – Teenage years – Adulthood – Old age…and so on.
We start off as a witness of the body, and over time grow into our power to control our faculties.
The body vehicle is a continuously transforming vehicle going through its own process from birth, growth, stability, reduction, to death.
Everyone else is moving in their own path in time,
However I will experience all of them relative to my own path in time.
We experience everything relative to our own movement.
Generally our experience of the world is only a reflection of the experience of our body.
The changing or fixed world is only a reflection of our changing or fixed bodies.
The world is the screen, while the body is the projector, while we are what witnesses the light shining through.
Generally a lifetime is said to last for around 1008 moon cycles (84 years).
And we could say there are 4 seasons between – 0-21, 21-42, 42-63, 63-84.
From the body’s perspective, these time periods would be: spring, summer, fall, winter seasons.
We are travelers in time, meeting other travelers in time.
The system reminds me of a giant clockwork with 9 planets/moons forming its whirling hands.
We seem to descend condense into the form, and then fade out of the form as we age.
This makes me wonder about the nature of the body itself.
It feels like the body is only a product of the time path and circumstances it was forged in.
We could be born again and again, and descend into other bodies with other time start points and paths.
In those other births, we would once again experience a totally new world, because the world would now appear relative to those new bodies and their new time paths.
It is as if we are experiencing the same general matrix from different paths in every birth.
There is only consciousness, and there is only the work
There is no inside-outside.
There is no self-other.
There is no you-world.
There is no body-environment.
There is no voluntary-involuntary.
There is just the one.
All of these are distinctions made by the mind,
Like throwing a net from a boat into seamless sea water,
And then calling each square of the net a label.
We create mental maps and use them to control and navigate in our life.
But the map is distinct from the territory.
The map is the lens through which we view the territory.
The territory is one undivided ocean of consciousness.
Reality/Territory appears to us as experience,
Based on how we see it through the maps of our mind.
Each map is a perspective.
And the multiple maps you carry in your mind,
Are like multiple perspectives to see the territory.
But the territory itself is like an unbounded kaleidoscope,
And it contains all of what all of the maps reveal.
We think we are born and we die.
But it is only the persistent appearance that dies.
In fact if you observe each moment,
Things are continuously arising and passing.
We see events because of our lack of vision.
When anything is seen very minutely,
We see that things happen in a continuous stream (continuum).
If life is the bird, its 2 wings are creation and destruction.
Our experience is like a continuous music in time.
Life on earth in the body is the theme of the music now.
This theme will shift and another kind of music may play,
Once the physiological process is completed.
So one very broad perspective of looking at this is:
There is only you and your karma unfolding.
The true completion of your birth,
Is when you complete the karma of the birth.
From this perspective – there are no situations/people/places,
Rather there is just an appearance to work with, whatever it appears as.
How does one complete karma?
In my understanding, it is by transformation.
We penetrate the darkness that surrounds our lives with our light,
And transform it.
We do this until we fulfill the potential (desire) in this birth,
And attain integration, enlightenment, and wholeness.
Then another cycle might begin in the next.
Consciousness creates its own darkness,
Filled with puzzles and possibilities (maya),
And then opens up a point of light (awareness),
With the desire to keep expanding its sphere of reach.
There is only the field
There is only the dream.
There is only the field.
Whatever suffering comes to you is only an appearance of/in the dream field.
The suffering does not come from any particular person, situation, or any thing/event or condition,
They are all only appearance and props of the will of the field itself.
The whole moves the whole, no part moves the whole.
One of the best analogies for this is the movie screen.
The whole movie is playing out in the screen,
And the pixels making the characters in the screen do not have any causal relationship with any of the other pixels, though they might appear to have it in a specific movie.
The whole movie is already there in the film roll,
And the pixels on the screen are not causing each other in any way.
They are all independently responding all at once.
However in our minds when we create meaning, we try to look for causal relations.
Even if causal relations appear to exist they are still only a persistent illusion.
For instance, say you are watching the movie ‘Groundhog day’,
And he keeps waking up everyday in the same bed with the same alarm clock and time,
Next time you see the bed, you’ll immediately predict correctly that the alarm will ring and wake him up.
But that kind of causal relationship is a feature of that particular movie,
And in reality all the pixels are independent of each other and only following the projector reel.
So it is a case of ‘the whole moves the whole’, no part moves the whole wrt. the screen.
Causation is an illusion.
There is only the field, and whatever plays within it is the play of the field itself.
Whatever world, condition, situation, circumstance, or relationship appears,
Is only an appearance that the field plays out just like a movie.Â
The power of the field generates “Experience”.
We have various gross-subtle bodies that relate to what is outside to create experience.
Even the transformation of those bodies (by the field itself or by the power of the higher bodies of your own), is also an appearance of the field.
The field is consciousness, only the field is.
All else is an appearance of the field.
The field is the substrate and all that appears are its modulations.
Depending upon what is awake in you,
i.e. the highest body awake in you and its vision/potential/power,
It will transform all of the lower bodies.
Paradoxically when it comes to our bodies, all of them are subservient to the field.
So all their power is only surrogate power, that is of surrendering to the field itself and thereby channeling more of it.
The more you yield to the higher, the greater the powers and vision you channel.
The field is our highest ultimate body technically speaking.
So ultimately if the field itself is awake in you, it will draw you back into itself by transforming the rest.
In a way, during the transformation, nothing fundamentally changed,
All that changed was that all the particles rearranged themselves by yielding to the higher frequency zone that was awake in you, and along with that, all the lesser powers played themselves out and completed themselves.
All charisma is about the strength of the pranamaya kosha
The pranamaya kosha is the energy body.
The vibrancy of this energy body determines your extent of influence and transformative power in the world.
A hyper-vibrant body is unmistakable.
We call it different words like charisma, confidence, happy vibes, and power.
Happiness itself actually is a condition of a highly vibrant exhuberant harmonic energy state.
Harmony is a very important variable.
Without harmony/balance, the high intensity of that person, may appear threatening,
And you may instead stay away from them as much as possible.
Some people are very vibrant inside.
But because of:
1. Hyper restrictive childhood environments,
2. Very low reception from others in formative years,
3. Very hostile and critical parents creating mountains of shame,
All of the activity is sealed and very little gets out.
You mostly see them staying invisible with a poker face.
There are very strong suppressive/repressive mechanisms containing all expressions in them.
This also however can be picked up by others.
Even if you are just silent, someone who wants to mess with you will stay away,
Because he/she senses your prana power that you are bottling inside.
The prana exerts the attractive force by its own nature,
But what form it takes depends on the structure it is channeled through.
For instance there are many different forms of high prana personalities.
It could take different flavors such as:
Power, Anger, Intensity, Calmness/Balance/Equanimity, Movers/Shakers, Celebration/Joy
A very old person has a really feeble pranamaya kosha,
So it is actually quite difficult to even feel their presence.
The opposite of this, is a kid full of exhuberant energy expressing itself,
You just cannot miss the presence of the kid.
The universe is projected through the body
The body is the ‘projector’, and the world and universe are the ‘projected’.
When the experience of the body is wonderful, our experience of the world and universe is wonderful too.
When the experience of the body is agony, this mirrors in all of our experience in the world and universe.
We see the entire outside world and universe through the lens of our concepts.
That is, through our mental-processes of projecting concepts/objectifications and then linking them to create maps/webs of context.
Penetrate the 5 layers of the self to find the source of existence/creation.
All knowledge is an extension of the knowledge of the self.
Creation is a fractal that self-replicates throughout space (3D) and time (4D).
Understanding the principles forming the fractal is to understand the 5th dimension of creation.
The objects of the 5th dimension are: “Revelations/Insights/Dawnings/Intuitive Knowings”.
Thought and Chemistry
I have observed that,
There is a bi-directional relationship between,
The thought world —and— The body chemistry world.
Each reflects the other.
Changing the thought world => Changes the chemistry world.
Changing the chemistry world => Changes the thought world.
Being stuck in certain thought patterns => Keeps your chemistry patterns stuck too.
Being stuck in certain body chemistry patterns => Keeps your thought patterns stuck too.
There are 2 other aspects too,
Of continuity/linearity —vs—- discontinuity/quantum jump.
A fresh inspiration from nowhere is a discontinuous quantum jump influence,
While predictable calculated expected events are in the continuity/linearity aspect.
There is also a mapping or link,
Running between the sensory world and the thought-chemistry worlds.
Which is the influence of what we call the external world,
On our thought-chemistry worlds.
Another link is a link from:
Our thought-chemistry worlds to a kind of over/super-mind.
(inspired from Aurobindo’s models)
This over/super-mind is the source of fresh ideas/inspiration.
Like a link between the “higher dimension of potential creation” to “our dimension”.
In Kabbalah there are 4 worlds:
Atziluth(supermind world) — Briah(thought world) — Yetizah(chemistry world) — Assiah(sensory world).
It seems like parts of the higher world, in this chain, are incubated in the next lower world.
For instance, you can incubate an inspiration from Atziluth in the womb of Briah,
And give it conceptual expression,
Like what I do while writing posts in this blog.
My blog posts are translations of inspirations I receive in vibratory form from a sort of higher dimension/super mind, as I see it.
Each of the descending worlds,
Serves as a womb for the forms received from the next higher world.
There is a bi-directional relationship between,
The thought world —and— The body chemistry world.
Each reflects the other.
Changing the thought world => Changes the chemistry world.
Changing the chemistry world => Changes the thought world.
Being stuck in certain thought patterns => Keeps your chemistry patterns stuck too.
Being stuck in certain body chemistry patterns => Keeps your thought patterns stuck too.
There are 2 other aspects too,
Of continuity/linearity —vs—- discontinuity/quantum jump.
A fresh inspiration from nowhere is a discontinuous quantum jump influence,
While predictable calculated expected events are in the continuity/linearity aspect.
There is also a mapping or link,
Running between the sensory world and the thought-chemistry worlds.
Which is the influence of what we call the external world,
On our thought-chemistry worlds.
Another link is a link from:
Our thought-chemistry worlds to a kind of over/super-mind.
(inspired from Aurobindo’s models)
This over/super-mind is the source of fresh ideas/inspiration.
Like a link between the “higher dimension of potential creation” to “our dimension”.
In Kabbalah there are 4 worlds:
Atziluth(supermind world) — Briah(thought world) — Yetizah(chemistry world) — Assiah(sensory world).
It seems like parts of the higher world, in this chain, are incubated in the next lower world.
For instance, you can incubate an inspiration from Atziluth in the womb of Briah,
And give it conceptual expression,
Like what I do while writing posts in this blog.
My blog posts are translations of inspirations I receive in vibratory form from a sort of higher dimension/super mind, as I see it.
Each of the descending worlds,
Serves as a womb for the forms received from the next higher world.
A short description of my experience
I experience life itself like a dream.
Where there is total subjectivity.
And “everything” could change into anything.
Absolutely malleable/changeable.
The “props” of my external environment may remain the same,
But the “dance” is in my body chemistry,
That can change the “entire relationship” I have with everything,
i.e. all of my thoughts/emotions/moods/feelings/perspectives/vision/projections etc.
Drugs really reveal this secret all too well,
That body chemistry shapes a tremendous/extraordinary amount of all of our experience.
Like esp. with marijuana and psychedelics, the alteration is phenomenal.
Chemistry and perception have a phenomenal correlation.
It can alter even time, space, and my whole vision about everything.
The body is like the million-chemical factory,
Controlled by forces from a higher dimension? (soul/karma/vasanas/engrams/samskharas/causal realm seed?)
Which are in turn controlled by the collective soul/collective karma/solar-system as a logos with planetary sub-logos etc.?
The only stable ground I see is ‘consciousness’.
That is the only certainty/ground I feel.
Everything else is super changeable in my experience,
Anything and everything can dramatically shift.
So there is a weaning out and a profound detachment that is deepening as this process is happening.
Sometimes I lose all energy, coherence, and suffer the dark night of soul,
Going through a hyper-negative sensitivity to everything,
In the cesspit of my wretchedness, despair, depression, reactivity, contradictions, confusions, paradoxes, frustrations, sufferings.
Like falling into the valley/pit of sorrow/miseries/pain.
Other times I come back with a bang, rise up to the mountains,
And regain coherence/meaning/purpose/direction/clarity with a sense of euphoria/insight/joy/beatitude.
I find the greatest/ultimate rejuventator for me is “SLEEP”.
Every “sleep” gives me a new lease of life.
Each day is a new life.
I live day to day, taking each new day as a life in and of itself.
My whole lifespan 85 years say,
Is really the aggregate of ~31100 sub-lives.
Every day I wake up to brave a new mystery/a new paradigm/a new context,
And by the night I am totally pooked/in deep fatigue.
My experience is like endless alternations of,
Coherence/Harmony/Purpose/Meaning –and– Confusion/Chaos/Suffering/Meaningless
Like mountain -> valley -> mountain -> valley…..and so on.
A constant agonizing alternation between ecstasy and depression.
With wild fluctuations in the influx and deflux of spirit.
My whole being is just an instrument that serves and abides in this mystery,
And rides its waves and dance.
I feel like i’m living in a constant Bardo realm,
With a very tenuous connect with the earth and body.
Like an endless fall into the abyss that will maybe drop me off in the next dimension.
Like being eaten by a Whale, and digested alive inside its stomach.
But maybe a day will come where I will open my eyes to the world again, not as me, but as the Whale,
And see through the Whale’s eyes and live in and as its being,
That has absorbed my essence into its.
The only one thing I desire is “spirit”.
I’ve narrowed it down to that after discriminating through all these extreme shifts.
When I am filled with spirit, life is wonderful.
In the absence of spirit, I am in deep agony.
Where there is total subjectivity.
And “everything” could change into anything.
Absolutely malleable/changeable.
The “props” of my external environment may remain the same,
But the “dance” is in my body chemistry,
That can change the “entire relationship” I have with everything,
i.e. all of my thoughts/emotions/moods/feelings/perspectives/vision/projections etc.
Drugs really reveal this secret all too well,
That body chemistry shapes a tremendous/extraordinary amount of all of our experience.
Like esp. with marijuana and psychedelics, the alteration is phenomenal.
Chemistry and perception have a phenomenal correlation.
It can alter even time, space, and my whole vision about everything.
The body is like the million-chemical factory,
Controlled by forces from a higher dimension? (soul/karma/vasanas/engrams/samskharas/causal realm seed?)
Which are in turn controlled by the collective soul/collective karma/solar-system as a logos with planetary sub-logos etc.?
The only stable ground I see is ‘consciousness’.
That is the only certainty/ground I feel.
Everything else is super changeable in my experience,
Anything and everything can dramatically shift.
So there is a weaning out and a profound detachment that is deepening as this process is happening.
Sometimes I lose all energy, coherence, and suffer the dark night of soul,
Going through a hyper-negative sensitivity to everything,
In the cesspit of my wretchedness, despair, depression, reactivity, contradictions, confusions, paradoxes, frustrations, sufferings.
Like falling into the valley/pit of sorrow/miseries/pain.
Other times I come back with a bang, rise up to the mountains,
And regain coherence/meaning/purpose/direction/clarity with a sense of euphoria/insight/joy/beatitude.
I find the greatest/ultimate rejuventator for me is “SLEEP”.
Every “sleep” gives me a new lease of life.
Each day is a new life.
I live day to day, taking each new day as a life in and of itself.
My whole lifespan 85 years say,
Is really the aggregate of ~31100 sub-lives.
Every day I wake up to brave a new mystery/a new paradigm/a new context,
And by the night I am totally pooked/in deep fatigue.
My experience is like endless alternations of,
Coherence/Harmony/Purpose/Meaning –and– Confusion/Chaos/Suffering/Meaningless
Like mountain -> valley -> mountain -> valley…..and so on.
A constant agonizing alternation between ecstasy and depression.
With wild fluctuations in the influx and deflux of spirit.
My whole being is just an instrument that serves and abides in this mystery,
And rides its waves and dance.
I feel like i’m living in a constant Bardo realm,
With a very tenuous connect with the earth and body.
Like an endless fall into the abyss that will maybe drop me off in the next dimension.
Like being eaten by a Whale, and digested alive inside its stomach.
But maybe a day will come where I will open my eyes to the world again, not as me, but as the Whale,
And see through the Whale’s eyes and live in and as its being,
That has absorbed my essence into its.
The only one thing I desire is “spirit”.
I’ve narrowed it down to that after discriminating through all these extreme shifts.
When I am filled with spirit, life is wonderful.
In the absence of spirit, I am in deep agony.
Journey to the Abstract 