Whose expectations determine our behavior and self?

Are others responding to what you expect from them? OR Are you responding to what others expect from you?
Are you conditioning others’ behavior? OR Are others conditioning your behavior?
Are we being the way we are because we are that way? OR as a response to what the other expects?
Do you expect to be treated a certain way? and that is why the other is simply fulfilling your own request? OR Are you simply behaving in accordance and taking on a role based on the other’s expectation?

These questions are like koans that lead you beyond.
Both sides are true.
Between the self and other, there is total mutual inter-relationship.
Deep psychoanalysis will at times tell you that if you are constantly abused then somewhere you are playing a 50% role of enabling it. You allow and attract such people and even allow their behavior because you want them to do that to you.
And the converse can also be explained. That if the other is a narcissistic bully he conditions your role i.e. to be a hostage for his rageaholic monologues etc.
So what is the truth?
Is your own expectation attracting such treatment? OR Is the bad other forcing you to behave that way to protect yourself?

Is our role and behavior in life conditioned by what others expect from us?
OR are others simply complying with what we expect from them?

Both are true and are simultaneous.
Since the mind can only grok one side at a time, we may bias ourselves to either seeing the self as responsible or other as responsible.
But in truth, both are happening simultaneously.
This simultaneity of occurrence cannot be grasped in one thought, it goes beyond the capacity of the linear mind to hold.
So we can examine only 1 at a time, but both are true.


From that higher level, we can see that there is only god.
The self, the other, their relationship, who is doing whom etc. is like the perspective puzzle of “Do you see 6 cubes or 7 cubes?”
The truth is – it is 6, it is 7, it is both, it is neither, all of the above, neither of the above, all of the above and beyond, neither of the above and beyond etc.

Cycles of sexual potentials

Sexualized images -> mobilize pleasure -> and modify all behavior towards the procurement of that pleasure.
However, the sexualization capacity is directly related to the sex hormone – testosterone.
The cycles of testosterone circling determine the cycles of sexualization/pleasure capacity from previously sexualized images (carry a momentum).
Once sexualization feeling-image combinations are tapped into -> there is a pressure created in the system to release -> and when desire gets aligned to that, it carries a momentum with it and pulls the emotions and mind towards its fulfillment/release.
This pressure to release sexual feelings, as it builds up each time from the testosterone cycle is the prison.
The prison is of the modification of behavior (thought and emotion) for its purposes in cycles.
Its not completely imprisoning since it creates a compelling potential for a pleasure peak, but then there is a tendency to give-in to it.
What could be wrong with giving in, to a natural pleasure that gives you a cycle (opportunity/potential) or 2 a day?
Another angle here is the whole dopamine-prolactin cycle created. Each time you peak in dopamine when an orgasm happens, it is followed by a period of relaxation and total lack of desire for any more sexual activity.
Interestingly the sexual activities literally almost get disgusting in this prolactin phase.
Studying this illuminates its illusion which is quite interesting. How can something that was so desirable just minutes ago, seem so uninteresting and disgusting just after orgasm. There is just total disinterest for the very same object.
It is so dis-interesting, you immediately put it out of your consciousness and pursue something else.
Being unconscious of something shows the extent of disinterest.
You are so disinterested, that you literally want to take your mind completely off it, only to repeat it again the next day with the same intensity.
The inference I have come to from observing 1000s of such cycles is that, the nature of all sexual activity is EMPTY.
It is just like a short acting natural drug like cocaine which gives a rush of pursuit/focus -> peak/orgasm -> release/relaxation/satisfaction/afterglow.
The mechanism seems to be the same.