All relationships are with parts of ourselves projected out to and as others.
The other is that part of ourselves we have projected out “as” the other.
Thus when we reclaim and own that projected part/aspect,
We neutralize the attraction, and free ourselves.
To give an analogy,
Say you have a backpack full of 100s of smartphones.
But say, you only keep 2 of those phones in your pocket,
And you have no active memory of the backpack’s existence.
Now when you see your friend showing you his phone,
You’ll recognize it, it will look familiar,
You’ll feel attracted towards it, and want to possess it.
But if you realize you are carrying a backpack full of them,
And look inside it,
You’d find that you own that exact same model.
Then there is no longer an attraction to the other’s phone,
But rather, you can enjoy exploring the phone’s features together.
Because now there is a commonality and you also own that same model.
The very act of relating is like a play or dance.
The question is then whether it is conscious or unconscious.
A conscious relationship is like a conscious dance done willingly from both sides,
(i.e. conscious projection and introjection),
While an unconscious relationship is like an unconscious dance happening compulsively from both sides,
(i.e. unconscious projection and introjection).
Once you own all aspects of yourself, you become whole,
And realize that all the others are representative of potentials of your own consciousness.
Then there is nothing that you lack, that can only be got from the other.
Rather, whatever you experience as the other, is instantly owned.
The same would apply to ‘aversion to others’ too.
It is the aversion of the projected aspect of ourselves that we believe we are.
So there can be 2 steps:
First the delusion (false Introjection), and then Projection.
To free the identity from all these introjections,
Is to contemplate and realize our essence is beyond all of this,
And is transcendent of all of these appearances,
Which are all but only one of the possibilities of our infinite nature.
All attraction or aversion is from resonance
Diagram explanation:
# The left circle in the diagram shows all of the seed potentials that make you.
# The right side shows the expansion of this circle. The central circle shows what you identify with and own as yourself, and the other smaller circles around show the seeds within you that you have projected onto others.
# The hashed portion in black on the circles in the right side show what the others actually are, whereas the colored portion in those hashed circles shows the qualities in you projected to them and experience as them.
From the psyche point of view:
# When born you are whole.
# Then you project onto the mother, father, siblings, other kids, society, culture, celebs, the adults, the animals, the world and so on.
# There are a series of fragments created which is what begins the process of projection and relationship.
# We are relating with seeds of ourselves in others, which have sprouted in different circumstances, and that is the reason for the recognition and resonance.
# After all, you experience all others and the world only within yourself.
# So the relationship is from the attraction between the same kinds of seeds.
# The part of yourself you identify with and own, those seeds get the necessary nurturing and grow into the trees in your brain.
# The part of yourself you dis-identify with and disown, do not get nurturing, they remain as seeds, but you recognize the trees in others which have come from the same seed you have, and are therefore attracted to them.
# The aversion happens, when we resist the attraction towards the common seeds in others we have disowned within ourselves.
# We enjoy, suffer, and live through all other bodies (human, animal, insect, fish etc.)
# We are only conscious of a tiny fraction of ourselves, which is what gets projected out as a tiny fraction of others we experience too.
# The larger your consciousness gets, the more you recognize all the seed potentials within you, and this correspondingly also vastly enlarges your recognition of others too by the greater resonances that follow.
Journey to the Abstract 