To be fully alive

Life is change.
All that does not change is dead.
So total change is total life.

To be fully alive,
Is to be like a fire,
That blazes, sparkles, and dazzles.
Everything you do must change everything,
So as to fall into endless transformation.

Whatever you do must be:
Towards what matters to you the most,
Towards what means the most to you,
Towards what you most deeply feel/desire/care about.

It must transform and change you fully from moment to moment.
Living in a way where the whole moves the whole.
Where all of you is free,
In full power, glory, and splendor.

Living every moment from the creativity,
Of ushering a whole new world at each moment.
Bringing/Gathering all of one at each moment,
Only to fire up and change it all up in the next.

The seeds outside and within

You can only connect with or experience the seed outside you, 
If it awakens the corresponding seed inside you.
Let’s put a scale of 1-10 to this seed aliveness.
Generally there is also a threshold of aliveness needed for you to become conscious of the seed aliveness and its activity.
People who get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily, have a lower threshold,
While people who gravitate to extreme levels of stimulation, have a higher threshold.

Resonance with others (i.e. between your seed and their seed activity) will excite your own seeds.
This excitation, amplification, or enhancement is then felt within.
If you have a low threshold for consciousness of these things,
The resonance will often appear to bring back to life, seemingly dead seeds within you.

We often seek others or cues that will stimulate the seeds within us we identify with and want to enhance.
For instance, say you have a seed desire within you that wants to go window shopping at the mall.
Let’s say it is below your threshold of consciousness (threshold: 4, and this seed is at 2)
If someone else, a friend say, comes along with the same seed desire but at aliveness level 8, he/she will be clearly conscious of this want.
If they then ask you whether you want to join them in a trip to the mall, this proposal will now increase your seed aliveness temporarily in their presence to 6 because of resonance, and you will become dimly aware of your own desire to join them and may likely say yes to it.

If you have a very limited ego identity you will only identify with some seeds and try to get rid of most of the others.
Accordingly you will also have a very narrow relationship with the outside world, limited to only things and people that maintain or grow those ‘identified-with seeds’.
If your ego identity is diffuse and vast, you will be an empath and be able to connect through many many more seeds.
That is about identity.
The next variables are about energetic activation and consciousness threshold.
If your consciousness threshold is very low, say 1/10, then you are like an owl, super sensitive and can see in the dark. You will probably get overwhelmed easily and perceive a ton of things.
If your consciousness threshold is very high, say 7/10, then you will only feel seed activities within that cross that threshold. So there will be a constant need for very high stimulation.
If your net seed energies and activity are at a low ebb (<3/10) then you will feel depressed, empty, and blank.
Whereas when your net seed energies are high (>7/10) you will feel alive, rich, and euphoric.

Some drugs enhance the seed energy which are generally called stimulants.
While certain drugs lower the consciousness thresholds in different ways like LSD.
The drugs could do both too.
Both result in an enrichment of experience we call high or euphoria.
Meditation in silence generally is to lower the consciousness threshold, so that you end up feeling rich even with lowered activation.
Whereas LSD might stimulate the energies to a higher pitch causing a bunch of seed activity to cross your consciousness threshold.
Also, if you already have lower consciousness threshold coupled with LSD, then your euphoria and richness will be overwhelmingly higher than someone with the higher threshold.
Meditation lowers the threshold, while psychedelics raise the seed powers.
So they both assist each other.

The morphogenetic field is also the influence by resonance from others to us.
It is sort of like a quantum entanglement.

The knowledge of death completely rewires you

Death is thought of as an event that happens in the far future.
Nobody even thinks about it, unless there is a real reason to.
Seeing death as an event, is from ignorance (maybe purposeful).
Death is not an event that suddenly happens in the far future.
Death as an experience is continually happening.
“Death is not an event, but death IS, just as life IS”
(borrowed from Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev).

One never steps in the same river twice.
Life experience is constantly transforming.
Knowledge of death or mortality is really knowledge of impermanence.
It is the truth of the statement: “This too shall pass”.
The nature of life is aliveness and change.
Life = spirit = novelty = miracle = change = aliveness = unknown = mystery.

Death is the knowledge of unbecoming that follows becoming.
Like the outbreath follows the inbreath.
So imagine breathing in more and more without letting out anything.
Eventually at one point, the tension will become so great,
You will just drop and let go of everything.
The nature of life is like the Breath.
We enter this planet, take on a body, project all of our emotions here.
We get deeply involved, and then later leave everything behind, and exit.
The cycle of [incarnation – death] like [inbreath – outbreath].

The knowledge of death is what breaks the spell of ordinary egoic life.
It is the great disillusionment.
It casts its shadow on all desires/dreams/plans.
The thought that comes is:
“What is the use of doing anything? OR becoming anything?
If it is all going to end in dust?
Why should I bother to fight for my survival and thrive?
If I am just going to be cheated and mocked in the end by death?”

This may create an existential crisis/dark night of soul/depression.
When the knowledge of death enters your vision.
If one allows this process to fully pass through,
They emerge on the other side transformed.
It is like how you digest food and get energy later,
The knowledge of death digests “you” and liberates you,
And you emerge as a phoenix from the ashes.

For the phoenix, life is lived in the “now/present”
The past is seen as present only, i.e. the past incarnating in the present.
The future is seen as imagination done in the present.
The phoenix lives with identification grounded in “formless life/aliveness” itself.
All else is seen as the play of life, “as form” and “with form”

I desire ‘alive sensation’

glitter-pattern

VITAL ALIVE DANCING
ECSTATIC TRANSFORMING SHIMMERING
DAZZLING GLITTERING SPARKLING
FIRE’Y BRILLIANT RADIANT
POWERFUL ENCHANTING DELECTABLE
EXCITING BEAUTIFUL WONDROUS
LOVELY JOYOUS EXQUISITE
QUIVERING REFRESHING VIBRATORY
BREATHTAKING THRILLING EXOTIC
ETHEREAL DREAMY MAGNIFICENT
SPLENDID MIND-BLOWING FABULOUS
INCREDIBLE AMAZING EXTRAORDINARY
FANTASTIC STAGGERING INSPIRING
STELLAR ASTONISHING DELIGHTFUL
MESMERIZING RIVETING CAPTIVATING
EXUBERANT RAVISHING SENSATION !!