Reading can also be imprisoning if not done from the right perspective

I have been extensively reading for a long time, in an associative chain like fashion on Google. I’ve realized that factual information can manipulate you but theories about religion, philosophy and psychology can be FAR more manipulative. For e.g. say you take the Myer’s Briggs personality test and you get classified as one of the 16 types. This affects what you believe about yourself and that is imprisoning in a way since you start thinking that your landlocked into that personality for the rest of your life. That kind of goes against real freedom which I’m after.

Usually while reading I balance it out by reading both the positive and negative sides of any issue so that I wont get biased. But then what is the truth? Am I not just unloading more imaginary castles onto my mind?Ideas, concepts, ideologies and classifications and more reductionism?

Real freedom is maximum dynamic. You should free to be whatever you want. Free from identifying with all the ideas, images, conceptions, impressions, beliefs and thoughts about yourself. I think real freedom comes at a level under your beliefs. You probably need to meditate and relax enough to go deep enough to see through your beliefs.

Until recently, I looked at a prison just from a physical point of view. Metaphorically, I realize that even I am in a deep prison on my mind’s beliefs which I need to come out of. Every belief is a wall. Its counter-intuitive, I need to unlearn everything I think I know to realize true freedom.

Gifted children and their recognition in society/Friendships and Romantic interests

I was just wondering, the gifted people that make their way into the media are probably just a very small % of the total number of gifted people. Sometimes geniuses are recognized by society late and these geniuses often report not fitting into society and struggling during their childhood, schooling and college days due to a variety of reasons such as the education system which greatly favors sequential learners.

I can see 3 possibilities:

  • Either society recognizes them in the later part of their life. They gain fame, respect and admiration.
  • Many artists live lonely lives, create great work and even die in this oblivion and society catches and appreciates their work many centuries later.
  • They are simply not recognized ever

The last option sounds the most disturbing to me. But I also see that this is the option that’s most likely. Society itself is built on a set of rigid morals and beliefs. Anything outside the purview of these is not considered significant. Most thinkers who question fundamental beliefs are simply categorized with some psychological disorder or in common language ‘crazy’.

I also wonder about the more fundamental question of “Why do I care if I’m recognized or not?”
Even if I am, they would never see the real truth that makes up who I am. Even I do not know that. The person closest to me is ‘me myself’ by a long shot. People would just admire me for a very small manifested part of me and even that would come with its reasonable/unreasonable expectations.

Its like people judge me at different levels:
1. Superficially by my looks, behavior, body language
2. Maybe by common context, special interests
3. Based on common beliefs, values

But I’ve never gone deep enough with anyone to a level where they can actually understand the matrix behind all my dreams, beliefs, conditioning and beyond.

A true friend in common definition would be “someone who unconditionally wishes well for you”. Even saints are like that right. Why is the saint not your true friend then?

Say a friend can almost see the matrix that creates you, would a true friend be a person who understands you extensively at deeper levels too? But what if he does understand you completely, but you do not get validation or appreciation because of contrasting beliefs between you two?
Those situations are very disturbing and common in romantic relationships too. Its like you’ve invested so much in making the other person understand why you are what you are, what makes you behave in certain ways, on what basis you formed your beliefs, your different inclinations etc. In the end, sometimes the other person simply does not agree with you because of some fundamental differences in nature or conditioning. Since you have invested so much, you cannot imagine actually getting a negative return for that. You want the other person to at the least validate all of that. That is like a break-even. Ideally you would want to be deeply admired or even adored.

So we measure the quality of relationships based on:

  • To what depth they understand you.
  • The outcome of that: Acceptance/Validation – Admiration – Deep Admiration – Adoration
  • Level/Number of shared experiences/contexts/situations
  • Commonalities in beliefs, interests, ideas, ways of thinking, conditioning.
  • Integrity wrt. bonding values such as: Respect for the other, tolerance, privacy

I can also see another global variable factor that is, how intimate is the person with himself or herself determines how intimate he can be with you. Just like we learn sexuality by exploring ourselves first. The more you know and understand yourself, the more you can understand the other.

Understanding art or musical giftedness involves you yourself having that potential. If you absolutely cannot sing in tune, it is very difficult to understand how a musician might hear music.

I hope that some day I find someone who operates at the same level in terms of seeing through the matrix of our existence. I hope to live an unbounded life with such a person.

Sacred Geometry

An extension from the Golden ratio spiral: 1:1.618(phi) which totally fascinated me, I came across this new concept – Sacred Geometry. When people report moving into higher dimensions by consumption of psychedelics, DMT etc. or a near death experience, seeing complex geometric patterns/fractals that appealed to them at an intuitive level seemed to be a common experience. So I was wondering, what do the higher dimensions have to do with geometry. Then after seeing some videos about higher dimensions, chakras etc., it occurred to me that maybe just like the golden ratio, there is an inherent geometry underlying all creation. It might be the archetype of all creation. It may also be intimately tied with art, intuitive appeal etc. These overlapping fractals may be the underlying vibration invisible to us but creating our reality. It also ties to the phenomenon of musical vibrations creating specific crystal patterns (

Sacred Geometry video sample:

1-D – oneness, unity consciousness
2-D – pi(circle), phi(spiral), 2 points creating vibration
3-D – Fibonacci sequence

Another sample:

Emotions in children

Artistically its a masterpiece, with the Agrabah town and the night depicted in shades of dark blue and purple. The entire concept and concept art used is awesome.

I was watching a bit of Disney’s Aladdin movie after ages and seeing it from an adult’s perspective I realized some striking differences. All emotions were highly overt, too bright, fleeting and somewhat abrupt. It was like watching a 256 color picture on the emotional plane/shades of meaning scale vs the 16 million colors we usually find. The sublimity factors were absent. It does not carry the powerful shades and depth of romantic significance, longing. For example: When they kiss for the first time, I could not really feel any sexual energy. I can understand that since its meant for kids they purposely keep it that way but I never knew that even as an adult such scenes would not provoke strong sexual feel.

About telepathy

I always thought that telepathy is a way where you can hear the other person’s thoughts the same way you hear your own verbal dialogue. But then later I thought, why is the mental talk even necessary. If I just heard his mental talk, then it is as good as him speaking it out for me. That is not as consequential as the meaning itself. Can meaning itself be transmitted?

But then I started to wonder what is ‘meaning’ really? I consider my thoughts to be a verbal dialogue inside my head. But where does this verbal dialogue spout from.

There are lot of perplexing questions here:
When I hear my own mental talk inside my head, who is listening?
I think state of mind/mood determines what verbal dialogues is created inside my head. What does ‘mood/state of mind’ mean? The electrochemical balance in the brain?
What controls the electrochemical balance? The mind?
If the mind controls it then it would depend upon perception, beliefs, notions, impressions and ideas I have?
Thought also manipulates these right. Like autosuggestion. What is thought then?

It seems to be cyclical. But there is someone creating/watching and maintaining this cycle. How do I isolate this entity?

Even if I do isolate, how can another person’s meaning be transferred telepathically without me losing my own egoic point of view. Would I see it like a dream? But we cannot control dreams right, so how can I control this process? Is it possible to really see another person’s feelings without losing your egoic consciousness?

Ways to stop conscious thought

Here are some of the situations I would imagine can stop your thinking:

1. Very loud over powering music for more than 10mins would put you in a trance. Maybe this is the principle of clubs.
2. You hear someone speak about something that you really yearn to know. e.g.: Something deeply emotional
3. A moment of Awe or deep wonderment on an external object. e.g.: Seeing a pyramid for the first time(assuming you’ve never read about it or seen a picture of it)

1. Consuming drugs like ecstasy that amplify your senses high enough that your thinking cannot function anymore
2. Orgasm – All conscious thought is suspended at the climax moments

Society is a VIRTUAL reality

Each person inhabits a fundamentally different reality from the one your in. They have different definitions and imaginations about all the possible emotions and feelings you can think of. Yet for the purpose of simplification, our society tends to think, “everyone wants the same things and everyone is fairly similar”. This is an extremely reductionist approach and disregards the real complexity and beauty of the individual himself. An entire belief system is created by society and this conditioning is passed on to every human that is born within society at a very early age. This is simply a VIRTUAL REALITY. You are conditioned at a young age with practically everything ranging from what you want, don’t want, afraid of etc and its very easy to believe in them because they are validated by 99.5% of the people you meet. Its a conundrum very similar to the MATRIX. Its is so hard to even prove this intellectually to a person. It takes a substantial amount of reflection, thought, exploration and an intense desire to know the truth even to reach a level where you actually start asking existential questions and seek answers with intensity.