Thoughts and experience

Thoughts are just pointers and take you to the experience. They are never the experience themselves. They can however greatly increase your willingness to experience something, clearing the path for it. But you still need to step into it.

Vipassana troubles

During the Vipassana period, the one thing that really disturbed me was that, my desires were maintained only by me constantly thinking about them and fueling them. To stop thinking about them meant to completely renounce them or let go of them. This was scary because, the desire’s intensity is maintained by this constant thinking and that is how you construct your self. If you suddenly stop to think, their intensity starts fading away. You can literally feel it fading and since the desires give you pleasure, you do not want to let go of them.

It is like through trial and error, throughout life, we have been constructing this personality. The personality is what we project to ourselves and others. It is an entity we have created to survive/flourish in the world and we believe that it is in our best interest to preserve it. If I really stop thinking and just stay in the present moment, then this personality starts to dissolve. That’s the really disturbing part.

Philosophical insights – 20May

– Every experience is qualitative
– language works because of assumed shared experiences. They are fixed defined patterns defined by vocabulary used in language.
– This experience vocabulary(mime’s) created by language is the virtual reality.
– Mime’s – 4D objects that represent experiences
– The same words could mean totally different things to different people
– The real truth – nobody understands anything. Its their perception. We fool ourselves into believing them vs believing ourselves
– Nobody can any power over you. You just think they do. Its a false belief. When someone insults you, they just trigger your own core beliefs stored somewhere. We switch through our core beliefs many times during a single day.
– You viewing people on movies is exactly the same as seeing it in reality. Its just because you believe one is real and one is not.
– you can either go after experiences or go after increasing the experience level itself which transforms everything globally.
– alter the global variables and not the small local ones of experience.
– only people with similar experiences can ever understand us. We assume people have similar experiences. This assumption is because of this language virtual reality.For the same word they may imagine a fundamentally different qualitative experience.
– All external knowledge and processing you do is related is not you. Its just a combination of memory and processing. WHO IS PROCESSING?WHO IS HAVING THE MEMORY? That person is you.
– Nothing exists for you besides different projections of your own self. Your self is everything you know, imagine, sense, think..EVERYTHING. Everything is within, there is nothing out there. Everything you perceive has its mechanism inside you.
– My perception is the only thing that’s real to me. What I cannot perceive does not exist for me. I may however be able to reach a higher plane and invoke new experiences. “My Reality” is different from “ABSOLUTE REALITY”. My objective is to go closer to the absolute.
– We trust reality so much because of this physical solid dimension which can injure us. But the physical reality is just a part of the entire matrix. There are many many other dimensions and planes coexisting along with the physical. Give the physical reality its required attention but don’t be landlocked by it, free yourself to explore other planes.
– What matters is “What do you feel”, nothing else. For e.g.: What do YOU feel when you look at the Eiffel tower? You are free to choose any perspective you want, you do not have to bind yourself to culture, society, family, people around you etc.

What is personality?

Very well explained:

Personality – A form of Rigidity. Fixed likes/dislikes/opinions/aspirations etc.

Its just a creation that helps you push your way through physical world. If you want to ascend to higher dimensions, it is necessary to dissolve this personality. Like a burnt clay pot vs a mud pot. The mud pot completely dissolves when put into water while the burnt clay pot continues to remain rigid.

I’ve seen most spiritual practices expose you to this truth and lead you towards dissolving the personality. That is why they are so shocking at first. For e,g.: When I went for the vipassana retreat, I could feel my personality dissolving and I have to admit it was really scary and each time I would compulsively start internal verbal dialogue and bring it back.

Awareness is light

Awareness is Light. Its always burning in full intensity. Its just that we have layers of cloth covering this up. If we remove all the layers, we will see the true source of light which would illuminate everything around within and outside us.

Feeling of triumph

I guess this is most apt picture that conveys the feeling of triumph I had after I realized I had cleared the final interview for “The Internship”.

The feeling after I realized I got over this hurdle was exactly like how a hungry and lonely wanderer who has been searching for people for days would feel when he finally finds a village.